Never knew it would be this bad

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Never knew it would be this bad
5
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 2:34pm

Hello - have been around for a year but havent ever posted before.. Just to give you a background. Ive been happily married for almost 10 years now. Have a great husband who loves me a lot. A year ago I met an old classmate we started talking and became really good friends . Somewhere along the line something changed for me.I got very emotionally involved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 3:20pm

Highs and lows,


Hello there.


Let me get this straight so I can attempt to offer some insight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 7:40pm

First and for most, you have a good H, and you love him. That is something that most of the woman here can not say about themselves. Most woman enter into affairs because there is a lack of an emotional bond between them and H. I think there are a few that are here for the sex, but the majority are looking for the love, attention, and consideration that has ceased to exsist in their M. That doesn't seem to be the case for you.

If I were you, I would keep this "friend" at arms length, and turn your energy back to where it should be, w/ your H. Yes, the attention, and mystic is all very alluring, and exciting, but it is also very difficult to live a double life. The lying, and sneaking around takes it's toll on you. It's a very difficult life.

Well that's about all I have to offer. Good Luck in whatever you choose.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 1:14am

Seems like you fell in love with the fantasy of this guy while he kept a straight head about you. You need to examine why you'd rather be in fantasyland even when you said you have a great H that loves you a lot. Are you willing to risk all you have now for a fantasy? Even if you've been emailing with this EAP for a while now, you don't really know him. Most likely you're making him out to be Prince Charming in your mind, but that's not reality.

Now, he just wants to be friends. That means he's not willing to take any risk in ruining his M for you. Be glad that he's being honest about that and use that as a spring board to get out of the A-fog that you've created in your head. The grass is NOT greener on the other side. If you have problems in your M that you're not paying attention to, now is the time to examine that. What's the reason why you got so emotionally involve with someone even though you claimed to be happily M. Don't throw away what you have for someone who wouldn't be there for you in the end.

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 8:02am

If you really want to end it then start going NC now.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 8:37am

I totally agree with the poster that said it is time to end it now. I am in the same, sort of, situation that you are. I started a fwb that became totally emotional for me. I have been feeling bad, obessive, I have called and texted him too much..just crazy inappropriate behavior.

A few days have gone by and I am already feeling better. I still have many moments of omg I need to call him, but I work through them and move on.

Please feel free to email me at teachandsavelives@gmail.com if you want to keep in touch.