>>And I know in the end, nothing will come of this beyond what we have right now.<<
Yes something very likely will come of it. When (not if but when) your H discovers what you are doing your good M will come to a screeching halt. Your kids will be devastated and your family and friends dismayed. They will never look at you in the same way again. Right now is the time to take the steps to prevent that happening. The best thing you can do for you and your family is to stop all contact with the OM. Of course only you can make that decision but I hope you ponder before making the jump which can never be taken back.
>>>" Is it just crazy, knowing that I am so aware of what I am doing is not right, knowing that I feel guilty for deceiving DH, yet wanting to continue this anyway? Where does all of this come from? "<<<
Delusions and maybe from having a good life that's too comfortable but a little bit boring. It certainly is "not" an excuse to go and bring turmoil and chaos down on it though. Be careful you don't live to regret your decisions. Sometimes we don't know what we have until it's gone and it's foolish to think that no one will find out, because highly most likely, we change and our loved ones see the difference and knows something is up.
Look at it from a spectators POV and see where you think it will lead to. My POV show me potentially life altering disaster..... Be sure you risk only what you can afford to lose.
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
>>And I know in the end, nothing will come of this beyond what we have right now.<<
Yes something very likely will come of it. When (not if but when) your H discovers what you are doing your good M will come to a screeching halt. Your kids will be devastated and your family and friends dismayed. They will never look at you in the same way again. Right now is the time to take the steps to prevent that happening. The best thing you can do for you and your family is to stop all contact with the OM. Of course only you can make that decision but I hope you ponder before making the jump which can never be taken back.
>>>" Is it just crazy, knowing that I am so aware of what I am doing is not right, knowing that I feel guilty for deceiving DH, yet wanting to continue this anyway? Where does all of this come from? "<<<
Delusions and maybe from having a good life that's too comfortable but a little bit boring. It certainly is "not" an excuse to go and bring turmoil and chaos down on it though. Be careful you don't live to regret your decisions. Sometimes we don't know what we have until it's gone and it's foolish to think that no one will find out, because highly most likely, we change and our loved ones see the difference and knows something is up.
Look at it from a spectators POV and see where you think it will lead to. My POV show me potentially life altering disaster..... Be sure you risk only what you can afford to lose.
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
- Ramona L. Anderson