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| Tue, 04-06-2004 - 10:43am |
I am new this forum. I posted a brief message yesterday and have been reading many of the discussions. I find it both comforting and disturbing at the same time. It is really nice to know that there are others out there. I have felt very alone and kind of like a loon at times. My situation is simple. I am not married. Last October I met MM at work. At first it was just conversation. We had so much in common. A love of music, similar childhoods, and on and on. It was great. I don't know when things changed exactly. There just seemed to be a building tension between us. We began meeting in chat rooms and talkin on the computer almost every night for hours. I was getting very little sleep but was ridin high on emotion. Then he got caught at my house by his wife. Not a good scene. Nothing had happened except for some talk and one little hug. He stayed and worked things out with her. He contacted me via computer two weeks later on Valentines Day. After that I avoided him and the computer for months, but i was miserable. Then in May it all started again. We ran into each other. He said he really wanted to talk and god he was so adorable with that smile. Next thing I knew, we were talkin on the computer. The plan was to keep it that way. Just friends ya know. No physical contact, no harm, no foul, so to speak. That lasted for a while. Till September when he had a fight with her. He left for the night and asked me to come talk with him. Things got physical. Then they got weird. NC for about week, long time for us. Then he started calling me from work. He would call several times and sometimes we would talk for over an hour. We also still met and talked on the computer every night. In fact after that NC for one week we have talked every night since pretty much. We have met several more times. He tells me that he thinks i am perfect for him. He has a son from a previous relationship. They share no children. I have been seeing him for all but 7 months of his marriage. He tells me to have faith. That he will leave. That he is closer all the time. That things aren't as simple as i want to make them. I try understand, but I want desperately to be with him. I love him so much. I freak out if we don't talk for even day. With his new job, we won't be able to talk but 2 days a week. I am freakin a bit. I know this sounds crazy. But I miss him like crazy. He saids it is the same for him. Well that is basically my story. I am happy today because we get to meet. We are planning a vacation together this summer too. I want to believe in this, but I am scared too. It is very hard for me to trust. All he says is have faith. I am trying. Reading your messages have helped though. Although I think waiting the past year has been hard. It hard for me to imagine going throuh another complete year of this. I guess I am just lookin for some support and hope.
