New Affair

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
New Affair
6
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 7:00pm
I have just started my second affair, only days after the first one ended. I swore I wouldn't do it again, but here it is. The first one i fell for this one for now is nothing but sexual. Though we haven't gone all the way the fantasy letters have started. He comes by every morning on his way to work and we meet outside my house in the dark. Why do I jump right in to another one? We had been flirting back and forth for months and I decided it was time for me to meet him, so I am the one who started it. Please help me figure out what I'm doing?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
In reply to: hot4uni
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 8:42am
Lets call this chronic affair syndrome....LOL - I often think Im a suffer to...

I had an EMA in my first marriage with my current husband and although he is my perfect match for a life partner only a few short months after our marriage I got involved with another man. I to always said "NEVER AGAIN, THIS ISNT WHO I AM" but maybe it is...I seriously think that having an EMA is like an addiction...as much as I hate to admit it, if my EMA ended tomorrow I already have other prospects Id seek out like a crack habit ... UGH!!!

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hot4uni
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 9:43am
hey hot -- girl, are you craving attention?! or just good sex!

whatever it is, stop trying to analyze it and enjoy yourself. it's not rocket science. don't beat yourself up because you're having another A, it just is! AND it takes two to tango so obviously the OM is a willing partner.

relax and enjoy it.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2003
In reply to: hot4uni
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 11:50am
hey, there...i'm new to this board. i'm also having an EMA and i just try to enjoy it every time me and my OM have the opportunity. a question comes to mind on what cl-liberalgirl wrote that is stuck in my head for my own personal issues. libgirl, you said that you have the perfect match/life partner. if that is the case than why are you having an EMA? don't EMA's happen because of some lack in our M's or R's with our spouses? or is it just for sex? if this is somewhat correct then isn't your perfect match/life partner lacking in something also, otherwise you wouldn't seek outside of your R? please, i mean no offense by this and i apologize if i did, but i'm only asking because these questions ponder in my mind. maybe i'm just reading too much into my whole EMA, but i'm only human and have lots of emotions going on, most especially because of my EMA. gosh, i hope i don't get kicked out or have stepped out of line...i'm sorry, just wondering...thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hot4uni
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 12:49pm
hey madgirl - you can ask any question you want on this board! you'll only get kicked to the curb if you're abusive or use really bad language.

i can't answer for liberal, but i would imagine that by "perfect life partner" she means a man who compliments her in most ways. but everything changes, doesn't it.

no one person can satisfy every need in one person. that's why we have friends, family, and flirtations. and affairs!

gurl




Edited 2/18/2004 10:34:41 AM ET by gurlfriend50
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2003
In reply to: hot4uni
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:36pm
hey gurl - thanks for your words of comfort on not gettin' kicked out. believe me, i have no plans on offending anyone...not at all! i need all of you; well, we all need each other somehow, right?!

what you said makes alot of sense. yes, i know that we don't live in a perfect world and nobody is perfect. it's just hard to sometimes think about why we're having an A...what's missing in our life and why can't one person/man fulfill everything for us??? guess if that were the case then, like you said, A's wouldn't exist. i know this, it can be a crazy emotional ride, but some of us like the craziness of the ride; guess that's why we have A's.

on your last note, unlike you, i would rather be with my OM than my H...sad for my H and our M, but it's true. thanks for your response and happy holidays to ALL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hot4uni
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:14pm
hey honey, listen, no one can be everything to another person. we humans are just hard-wired to want to reach out to others that catch our interest. even your OM cannot be your "all and everything."

people who need other people are the luckiest people in the world!! i believe that's a song, but still, it works for real life. that why there's dating and having guy friends and girl friends!! imagine ONLY having one person to talk to!! no way, jose!

so you take care and have a great holiday - Merry Christmas!!

gurl