new to A and Board, Thoughts
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| Wed, 06-17-2009 - 10:49am |
I'm new to this whole thing and am at a loss as to what to do with my A. I am currently married (12yrs) and have been with my AP for 3 months. He is 30yrs older than I and of another race so we have a ton of other issues as well. When we are together it's incredible. I can't explain how wonderful it is, I feel like we just fit together. I feel like I have been asleep for the past 12 years and didn't know it. My H and I are not in a bad marriage it's just a marriage. We rarely have relations and we don't talk. He spends his nights on the computer or the tv and I just try and find things to do. There is a real disconnect.
My vent is, I don't know how to go about telling my AP that I want to be with him. He's at the tail end of a divorce from a short marriage (3yrs). He says he doesn't want drama and that he's the one that's afraid of getting hurt. ( had told him I was afraid of getting hurt.) I don't know, I guess it's just hard to keep my emotions under control. I just feel such a strong connection. Is there a way besides venting on here and ending the affair (I don't think I could at this point) to cope with the ups and downs of emotions?

Hold his hand,look in his eyes and just say it.Then kiss!!
You might be in to deep right now,but i guess 30 years is a lot of age difference.How old are you?
My A is all about sex,no emotions ( sometime back i really wanted to have an EA ,have love etc but i guess i am old to do that now,i give up the idea)but have read a lot here on this board about the emotions going up and down.I guess,if both the APs are on the same page--in having their wants,desires,needs,expectations met,an A can last long.Its not always easy to leave a M.A regular contact,being able to talk about your feelings /emotions w/o being judged,will keep ups and downs in balance.
I would advice you to think nicely again about 30 year old age difference.
Thanks for the concern. I agree I have a lot to think about. I can just tell him or I can just enjoy the time I do have with him. I am 34 and he is 63. It's weird how it doesn't weird me out the age difference. It always did when I saw other relationships with that difference.