New and confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2010
New and confused
6
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 11:19pm

Hello!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2010
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 11:25pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2010
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 1:03am
it sounds like now that u r free to live a differenty type of life, u want to move forward, and he is still married, and unable to move forward w/u. i'm sure he does care for you deeply and u share an amazing connection but when push comes to shove he will remain married (see my reply to post titled: do only people in bad marriages have As?"). i'm sure he would continue to see you for another 4 years & 4 years -- wow! of course u are friends. but he probably is not willing to take whatever steps are necessary to be with u forever and ever (if u are looking to the future).... so u might want to start being more realistic about ur true needs. to everything there is a season, yes? each person who touches us, teaches us, yes? good luck with it all!
when one does not love too much, one does not love enough --blaise pascal
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 7:41am

I agree with marie. It seems, right from the start, he has been doing whatever's necessary to stay in his marriage - by limiting emotional involvement with you, etc. The dynamics have changed with you being single, you are not on the same page anymore.

Ask yourself this: how many years are you willing to waste? 5 more years? 10 years? how about 15? Picture yourself 15 years from now in the same relationship with a MM, no closer to having a real R than you are right now. Now picture yourself in 15 years if you end this A right now. Who might be by your side? Now see him disappear, because you have stayed in the A for 15 years.

IF the A is enough for you, if you can live with the limits and still be happy, then go ahead and stay. Some women actually do like being in an A rather than a real life R because they don't have to put as much into it either. They don't have to spend as much time, they never have to do their AP's laundry or listen to him about how she spends money etc. lol. If that's you, then it sounds like your A is a good one.

Only you can know if you can live like this forever.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 11:29am

I'm in a similar situation.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2010
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 10:12pm

I don't really know what I was asking..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2010
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 12:50pm

Wow, I love this thread!