new and confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
new and confused
2
Tue, 11-11-2003 - 2:58pm
K and I have been friends for over 7 years. We both agreed 6 years ago that nothing could become of our feelings, that we valued our friendship to much to screw it up. We have stayed in touch over the years, but about 6 months ago he moved back to the area. We have met over coffee, talked on the phone and the pc. We recently crossed the line from frienship to having an affair, I know this isn't his first one, because we talk about everything, but it my first one. I am so confused because I am happily married to a wonderful guy and I don't want that to end, but I also have feelings for K that have been there for years and I never acted on until recently. I don't know what to do, I don't want to lose either one of them. I love both of them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Tue, 11-11-2003 - 3:15pm
Welcome to your emotional heaven Tazzerfly - I can't guarantee a resolution to your concerns but I can guarantee that you are surrounded by a boatful of people who know EXACTLY where you're at emotionally and mentally right now. It seems to be all about finding balance for those of us who have been able to succesfully manage our marriages and our affairs. It's about being able to separate reality from fantasy and being able to keep our emotions in check when necessary.

I to am in an extremely happy marriage. I am with a man who is everything I could expect in a husband and my choice to be involved in an EMA is not a result of a void but rather that little extra something I want for ME! Call me spoiled but Im what we would call a cake woman around here. I want the best of both worlds and with alot of patience and flexibility I seem to be working my way to a better balance each day.

I have been involved in my EMA for nearly 2 years now with no forseeable end in sight. The bottom line is whether or not you can handle it emotionally. I do believe you can learn how to handle it but in doing so please always remember that you should always remain your #1 priority. If you plan to continue with you EMA you must be able to find peace within yourself otherwise you will find this affair to be so emotionally draining it will likely not be worth the emotional sacrifices you will have to make...

Glad you are here with us and I look forward to your participation on our board

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Tue, 11-11-2003 - 5:02pm

Hi tazzerfly and welcome,


I'm not sure that I can really add much more than liberal... she really has said so much.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My