New and totally confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
New and totally confused
1
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 1:50pm
HI Everyone, this is my first time posting so please bear with me. I will tell you a little about me and this mess Im in......ok been m for 5yrs w\h for 12yrs all together. My life was good up until 3 yrs ago I found alot of crap on the comp basically on accident but I guess dh was having cyber-sex with people in his defense he said it wasnt cheating since he had nc with anyone. Ok world crashed....on meds to help deal with this I should let it go but now have serious trust issues he has apoligized and begged for forgiveness and he knows he screwed up I have been in therapy since then trying to forgive b/c I do love him not sure if im in love but I do love him he said its ok that he loves me more than i love him not sure what that means. Ok feel better that i actually got that out. ok now for the interesting turn of events.......There is a guy ive known about 2 yrs he is m never thought much of it except he was hot . His family owns the business where i stop for capp. in morning before work. One mornig he asked for my email b/c he opened a new business and thought it would be fun for my son ok... still didnt think much of it . Then the IMs and emails started, ok before I know it, he's telling me he loves me he wished he married me,wants to have a child with me ( he said he m his w young b/c he wanted a lot of children but his w has a genetic problem and cannot have anymore they have 1) etc..... ok a little scary not sure what to think but of course I have that rush feeling I cant wait to hear from him or see him its been 3 monthes. He is in a bad m but wont leave b\c wife and son have a genetic disease which I dont want that anyway. Not sure what I want. I asked him and he said he wants us to be together forever(discretly of course) nothing physical has ever happened. Now the down fall is I do have strong feelings for him, but in my mind he's saying all this to get in my pants..trust issue ironic huh...I cant even have an A with trust.. needless to say my question is can it be possible for him to feel this way and mean it? or is it a ploy.. he seems genuine but who knows.. he gets annoyed with me when I question it . I really enjoy talking with him which is worse Emotonally rather than physical. Sorry to babble but Ive been keeping this bottled up and not quite sure what Im doing. Thank You for Listening.

Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 2:38pm
Hi CJS, Yes, I can relate to you're dilemma. My H has done some similar crap, It used to eat me up inside. After a while I became numb to his advances he made on other women not only over the web but in person too. Right in Front of me! Anyway, after many years of feeling the pains of jealousy and rejection, I found myself in an affair. I don't know why but your description of your MM has me a little Leary. He sounds like a game player. Just my 2 cents! I wish you luck and don't keep stuff bottled up. It Ages us!NMR