New to Board and in an EMA

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
New to Board and in an EMA
6
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 1:00pm
I've just found this board and it feels like such a huge relief to have found somewhere I can explain all of this. For about 7 weeks now I have been involved in an affair with my husband's best friend. We've known each other for several years and have always flirted and this happened out of the blue. He left his wife briefly over the new year but went back because he can't bear the thought of losing his kids. He's told me he loves me and that the reason he's staying with her, other than his boys, is because he knows we can't be together. He is so wonderful. He calls every morning. We email constantly through the day and the sex is better than I ever thought possible. I love being with him and we both know it's much much more than physical. The trouble is though that I also love my husband. Our sex life has had some problems but we're working on them. I'm completely in love with two men for very different reasons and in different ways but I don't want to lose either of them. And it drives me crazy that I can't be with both of them. His wife has had her suspicions and now acts strangely when I'm around - odd looks and a lot of obvious affection - constantly kissing and touching him and never letting him out of her sight. I don't feel guilty of my affair because it feels so right, but it's driving me crazy that I can't tell anyone. What do you do when you love two men and want to be with both of them?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 1:13pm
"Maybe intentions are the lies in the dark we tell ourselves when who we are falls short of the mark and when we destroy our neighbor we can say 'I never meant any harm.'"

-- Danielle Donoho

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 1:28pm
Hello Fleur, It's no doubt you are in a unique situation. My only advice to you is that if you decided to stay on the ride, be careful, watch your actions around your H and MM's W. Keep it at a friendship level when around friends and family. There is a time and a place for stares, winks, touchy feely and that's when you're alone. Good luck and welcome to this crazy board:) NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 1:36pm
Thanks for the welcome NMR. We are very careful when we're around other people. His wife is the one being very touchy feely, not me. I just wish we could be together more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 1:38pm
"It is right not to harm anyone and wrong to do harm. It is right to see good in others and wrong to see bad in anyone. It is right to love people and wrong to hate them. It is right to admire men for the good in them and wrong to rebuke them for their shortcomings and bad behavior. It is right to give advice to a man if he is doing wrong and wrong not to advise him to do good. It is right to do things which will be helpful to oneself and others and it is wrong to do things which will harm others. It is right to speak the truth but wrong to speak words which will harm others even if they are the truth. It is right to be good to others and wrong to be unpleasant to anyone..."

-- Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 1:39pm

hi fleur and welcome to the board!

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 1:44pm

hello newday and welcome to the board.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board