New Complications

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2010
New Complications
16
Sun, 08-29-2010 - 8:00am

It was a big step for me when my affair went from EA to PA.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Sun, 08-29-2010 - 8:58am

Usually, when it's truly a case of falling out of love and having no feelings anymore, people (especially the spouse) will suggest marriage counseling. When there really is no AP, MC often does wonders, even when you think there's no love anymore. Without the "whole picture", that's probably what your H is going to want and he will have high hopes that you'll be able to get through it with MC. It will be awful for him and for you because he'll sense that there's more but he won't really know what he's up against, and you will be going through the motions of MC with no intention of making your marriage work.

I could be wrong and your H might be one of those people who doesn't believe in counseling. But be prepared for that possibility!

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
Sun, 08-29-2010 - 5:30pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Sun, 08-29-2010 - 8:19pm

Nic I always think its a HUGE mistake to leave your M for your AP. If your M is truly over (and as Lexi said I think you should try MC first), then be on your own for a while.


Only end the M if the M is over. Dont end it to be with someone else- i think its a mistake!


After being on your own for a while, then you can decide if you love AP enough to build a life with him. You need to take it just like dating and starting afresh.


Just my thoughts.

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 3:51am

Does H know that you are unhappy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2010
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 4:23am

I’ve voiced my dissatisfaction with our marriage on a number of occasions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2010
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 4:31am

Anyone else have a response not show up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 7:51am
nicnsavan, I did read your response. For some reason it was posted in another thread and when I read it I knew you meant for it to be here (but I forget which thread I read it in!)

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2010
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 10:06am
I, like you, have wondered what I will/would tell my H when/if that day comes. I feel the same. I have fallen away and out of love with him. I have a 2 and 3 yr. old and ask myself if it is better when they are young and a little clueless or better if older and I can explain more to them. I and AP are no where near nor do I ever see it going to the place of engagement, etc.. but whatever happens for you, I wish you luck and somehow smooth sailing!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2010
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 7:39pm

I've been thinking about your comments.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2010
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 7:49pm

It’s a tough decision.

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