New with a curosity !

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
New with a curosity !
25
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 12:27pm

New on the board but not to A. I am just curious, after reading so many posts here.I would appreciate if you help me with some of your situations.

1. Did you start your A intentionally or found yourself in one after being friends or working together? Me: Intentionally, well planned with all rules in place and discussed head-on.

2. Did you know when you were falling in love or realized later on or you are not in love but having your needs met. Me: Needs met, no love involved.

3. If you plan to leave your M but your AP decides to stay M,will you be happy to continue the A ,as it is? Me: Both M, no intentions.Its a deal basis A.

Thanks in advance.I have a lot more questions but dont want to look creepy in my first discussion:)!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2008
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 12:48pm

1. Did you start your A intentionally or found yourself in one after being friends or working together? We started out as friends online, then we met and we kissed, and it was all over...


2. Did you know when you were falling in love or realized later on or you are not in love but having your needs met. Tried really hard not to fall in love, but I was already halfway there before the physical part started.


3. If you plan to leave your M but your AP decides to stay M,will you be happy to continue the A ,as it is? Me: Both M, no intentions.Its a deal basis A. Considering leaving M, but not for AP, I'm just sick of being miserable and in turn making my kids miserable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 2:45pm

I'm trying to end the A but thought I would answer anyway.


1. Did you start your A intentionally or found yourself in one after being friends or working together?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2008
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 9:51pm

1. Did you start your A intentionally or found yourself in one after being friends or working together?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 10:46pm

Welcome - I'm relatively

Pink Passion Flower

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 7:21am

I'm answering these questions based on my first and only physical A.


1. Did you start your A intentionally or found yourself in one after being friends or working together? Me: Intentionally, well planned with all rules in place and discussed head-on.


Not intentional - just fell for him, he was my boss.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 9:27am

Thanks to all who replied!

obxbell,

I am a married woman into my 3rd A with a much younger man,just a few years away from my oldest son.Sick? am i? no. My H has been bed ridden for many years and i had needs to be met which he couldnt.I chose A, good or bad, i dont care. It suits him and me.His W is pregnant and he wants it to be wild which she cant at this stage.So, basically, we are helping each other,lol!

We dont see anything wrong in it as long as feelings and emotions are kept at far end, so far so good.Its a choice we made.we live close by ,small place where everyone knows everybody but we manage to keep it secret.

its a dirty secret when you are having a sexual affair but not so if its just emotional! you can get away by just saying 'we are just friends'.the point being what you are missing in your M,the other person provides then go for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2008
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 10:32am
Please, do not be offended but if this is your 3rd A, then I would recommend counseling fast...
love
love
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 11:06am

Not so...emotional affairs are just as damaging.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 11:14am
I have been reading many boards here since the last few days i found this site but i dont get it as to how emotional affairs are more damaging.care to explain in few words? thanks.
People who are in sexual A's,they know what they are doing but i guess, people in emotional As dont realize early on , only when they are deep into it.dont know how that works !
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 11:31am

I directed you to two sites where you can read for yourself why emotional affairs are considered by the betrayed spouse to be worse.


Makes sense to me, too from this angle.


Pages