New with a curosity !
Find a Conversation
New with a curosity !
| Wed, 11-12-2008 - 12:27pm |
New on the board but not to A. I am just curious, after reading so many posts here.I would appreciate if you help me with some of your situations.
1. Did you start your A intentionally or found yourself in one after being friends or working together? Me: Intentionally, well planned with all rules in place and discussed head-on.
2. Did you know when you were falling in love or realized later on or you are not in love but having your needs met. Me: Needs met, no love involved.
3. If you plan to leave your M but your AP decides to stay M,will you be happy to continue the A ,as it is? Me: Both M, no intentions.Its a deal basis A.
Thanks in advance.I have a lot more questions but dont want to look creepy in my first discussion:)!

Pages
That makes sense! Thanks.I believe its the same for women.not all can open up to all men, especially the H. I didnt have a problem there with H but i do keep my family life away from my A. My intention was to do the deed and back home.never realized this aspect !
Curious again. Men have a hard time opening up and talk it out with the OW etc. and we know how the W feels.How about the H whose W has an emotional A? What does he feel? I guess men would feel more betrayed with a sexual A. thoughts??
TIA.
Well, if I was guy with the
An A is an A and it's incredibly selfish. No matter how you look at it, it hurts the BS if they find out about it. I would be devastated if I find out that during my pregnancy my H was wantonly having sex with an older woman who just wants to get her rocks off. You said this is your 3rd A, so you obviously have blatant disregard for your H's feelings. Even if he is bed ridden he doesn't need the insult of finding out you're cheating. He may be bed ridden but he still have feelings, who knows, he might rather be D'd than be cheated on. But that's his call.
I hope you used protection and regular check-up. His W doesn't need to catch anything from you.
This is my first time on the boards and first time thinking about A. My situation is a little different. I was contacted last week by my old high school sweetheart and have been in a daze since. So many emotions!! I've been married for 12 years. Things have kinda just fizzled out. It's more like we are roommates instead of h and w.
" I would be devastated if I find out that during my pregnancy my H was wantonly having sex with an older woman who just wants to get her rocks off. " Are you my guy's W? No.then who cares if you will be devastated or not, huh? He is an adult and into it with his will.I didnt give him sedatives or drugged him into doing it with me !
In all honesty, the spouse who has an A is as much at fault as the betrayed one.The betrayed one, because ,if he/she was providing the W/H ,he/she wont be looking outside.It is both ways.
His health or his W's health, is not my problem.
I do care about my H's feelings , else i would'nt have called it a 'dirty little secret'.
I believe there are people on this board who didnt get what they wanted out of their A's , so they come here being all bitter and jealous of those who are getting it!
Before you jump into the A roller-coaster, maybe you should explore how you can find that "feeling alive again" within yourself or in your M. Be very sure you're willing to "risk" what you are putting at stake when you consider having an A.
An A is NOT for the weak of mind and heart..... It's so easy to fall-in and so hard to get out. But, sometimes people must go through the experience to understand what I'm talking about.
>>>"In all honesty, the spouse who has an A is as much at fault as the betrayed one.The betrayed one, because ,if he/she was providing the W/H ,he/she wont be looking outside.It is both ways."<<<
Puhleeeze, BS's are the most innocent one in this situation. How can they correct the problem if they don't know about it??? Since the WS is lying and hiding their "dirty little secret" as you put it?
>>>"His health or his W's health, is not my problem."<<<
Hence why we have STD's spreading rampant and innocent people are devastated by it.
>>>"I do care about my H's feelings , else i would'nt have called it a 'dirty little secret'."<<<
Hmmm, I don't think he'd call it a "little secret" if he finds out about it.
>>>"I believe there are people on this board who didnt get what they wanted out of their A's , so they come here being all bitter and jealous of those who are getting it!"<<<
That would NOT be me. I wouldn't cheapen myself just to get my rocks off. I respect myself too much. My AP/BF jumped through hoops to get me.
In all honesty, the spouse who has an A is as much at fault as the betrayed one.The betrayed one, because ,if he/she was providing the W/H ,he/she wont be looking outside.It is both ways
Ahhhh...a bunch of hooey, but to discuss it here would go against TOS.
Maybe it will pass. Who knows.
is this an argument, debate or support group ?? The title says 'support' but it seems far from it!
goddess_g2,
" My AP/BF jumped through hoops to get me." You just played hard to get,lol ! I dont care to reply to any of your 'allegations'.get it?
What a 'support' group !
Clarity,
I believe that if the H/W was giving what the other needed or wanted, the other would never stray.Period.You can take this idea and debate on other board ! asif there is nothing better to do!
Thanks to all who gave replies to my OP.
Pages