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| Sat, 12-12-2009 - 4:46pm |
hello everyone. what a nice supportive group you are. ugh is all i have to say about all this and all my feelings. i feel like i'm totally falling apart. Been married almost 10 yrs to a really nice guy who I'm not attracted to at all. It got so bad that we discussed having an open type of marriage for me, because i was really feeling depressed about staying faithful. we have a family together and i really didnt want to split it up. anyway, about 4 months ago I accepted a get-a-drink offer from a guy i've had a thing for for a long time. married. we had a great night together and he left his wife the next day! i am making this story very short but basically he and i have been seeing each other in secret for 4 months. i am crazy about him, and according to him he is of me too. but i'll tell you-- i'm a complete mess. i'm constantly wondering what he feels for me, i'm emotional, i'm a wreck. it's clearly not good for me and i think im using it as an excuse to not deal with my marriage. with permission from my husband to kind of do this, i thought i could find someone to sleep with that would compliment the marriage. i've learned that i cant do that. i'm falling in love with this guy and it's ripping me up. i feel like im losing my mind. he has asked me to move in with him, which is really disrespectful -- not helping me try to decide what to do. my husband and i had a huge fight a couple weeks ago about this, and i told this other guy that i was most likely moving out. he wrote me back obviously excited of that possibility, told me he actually loved me. it kind of hurt me that he wasnt the least bit caring about this decision for me -- he told me i should go ahead with it. anyway, about a week later, a week ago, i told him i was going to try to stay and figure stuff out. but that i could still see him. well, he's been acting a little more distant and i'm a complete mess because i'm the one who's ruining everything. anyway, sorry this post doesnt make much sense. i'm just really depressed and dont know what to do and it's so nice to have a nonjudgemental ear there when i cant talk to anyone else about this. the emotions are very hard... also, i'm 38 and i feel like this guy is the only guy i might ever have a chance with... i know that's prob not true but it still feels that way
Edited 12/12/2009 4:49 pm ET by amela1971
Edited 12/12/2009 4:49 pm ET by amela1971

Hi Amela....I am in the same boat you are! I am not attracted to my husband one little bit either. We got married a little over two years ago, and ever since then it just got worse. He opened the marriage about a year ago, and I met somebody who I worked with along time ago and I really liked him a lot back then, but then it escalated into more! If you ever want to talk to me or need someone to talk to...I have yahoo messenger if you have that.
Good luck in your decision...as I am going through the same thing!
eternalbliss23 is my yahoo messenger!