New Here

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2009
New Here
1
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 1:28am
I hope that it is okay that I post here. I am single but seeing someone who is in a relationship. Here is my story... when I was sixteen I went to high school with this guy L and he used to chase me around but we never did anything, we just had this intense vibe between us. Fast forward a few years. We started to see each other and became intimate, he became my boyfriend and we had a lot of fun together. I made it clear to him that I understood that he was not a faithful man, although I knew that he deeply cared about me and understood me...and the sex was incredible. There were a couple one night stands that he always admitted to me and things were okay. Although I was never interested in sleeping with anyone else I did occasionally go out with other people. The same rules that applied to him also applied to me and I was young and did not want anything very serious, a few months in he did hurt me very much by sleeping with my best friend at the time(friends were off limits). Since then he has been in and out of my life a few different times. It has been years! but each time we see each other it's like we turn into these magnets and can't keep away. Physically and emotionally we just click and it's so easy to be with one another. He is in a relationship with a women that got pregnant after a couple of months of them being together, he is not happy. I am a single mom and the rule is that no one comes to my house unless my son is at his fathers, which is a on regular schedule. I have made this clear to him. I have also made it clear that I am not looking to be in a relationship with anyone. At the moment, I am a preschool teacher and a full time student as well as a single mother. When he stayed the night the first time it was amazing! he left in the morning and then did not call for almost a week. Which was fine because I'm very busy. I felt a kind of relief that I found someone that wouldn't smother me but I would be able to see every couple of weeks. I have not slept with anyone in a very long time. The second time was even better and a lot more emotionally intimate, he also spent the whole night at my house. Now, in the last few weeks he will text or call me, we'll talk for a long time he'll promise me that he's coming over and then he turns off his phone or stops all communication it's on weekend nights and I'm usually out with friends until late and then he comes over. I know it's because of his own life, however it upsets me because I would not care or get ready if he just told me he could not come over, no big deal! I told him, that we agreed that this should be fun for both of us but that it was not fun for me when he did that. He agreed with me but did it again this past weekend. I feel like he does it so that I won't sleep with anyone else, although I would not because I don't want to but feel he has no right to ask that of me given his track record. I get annoyed and erase all his messages and contact information and then he calls... it's like he's some kind of drug to me! I melt... I tell him again about this being an issue and he changes the subject to something else or agrees and then does it again. I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts on why he acts this way? I am not going to give any sort of ultimatum but maybe I'll ignore his calls for a while? The thing is after we see each other I think about it for a day or two and then I'm fine until he calls again. This has worked in the past with us with no issue until the obvious one, why is he being so weird now? He's also been sending me little love notes. I feel caught off guard. Any ideas? Thank you for listening!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
In reply to: dragonfly1265
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 12:53pm

Probably not what you want to hear and it is just my opinion.