new here

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2008
new here
5
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 3:58pm
Ok not sure where to start. I am divorced met a mm when I went out with some friends. We hit it off right away. He works in the town where I live and his w lives about 2 hours away in another state. The first night I did not realizen that he was married. I did not talk to him for 2 days but then met him again. he told me the next day that he was married. We decided just to be friends however that did not work. I know what I am doing but not sure where to go from here. Have been with him for 1 month now. there is only 1 night that we do not spend together and that is because he goes home to his wife and son. I deal ok with that since I know i get to see him the next night. I am crazy about him and I know he is about me to but not sure how to continue with it. Just looking for some feedback.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2008
In reply to: soconfused82
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 4:17pm

Why exactly does he not live with his W and DS?

“Love is everything it’s cracked up to be…<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-micro

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2008
In reply to: soconfused82
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 4:26pm
It is kinda weird. He and his wife are not on good terms with each other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
In reply to: soconfused82
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 5:16pm

Okay, so they are living separate lives pretty much - so is he planning on divorcing?


YOU have to decide what YOU want.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2008
In reply to: soconfused82
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 6:24pm
I agree with Obxbell for sure.

“Love is everything it’s cracked up to be…<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-micro

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
In reply to: soconfused82
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 6:40pm

Honestly, I think you are setting yourself up for a lot of heartache.

There is only one night a week when that you don't spend with him cause he goes home to W and son. What happens when that changes? What happens when his W says she misses him or his son says he misses him and it is two or three nights at home? I know that right now you don't feel like the other woman. Trust me when I tell you that you will. Because regardless of how this month has been, he is married and when it comes down to it he will prioritize his W and DS above you.

Also, I caution you on believing everything he tells you about his marriage. I can't tell you the number of times that an MM has told an OW that his marriage sucks, they never have sex, the marriage was a mistake, if it weren't for my son...It goes on and on. This might be true, but it might also be true that he is away from home for business and when he is home they do have sex, they don't have a sucky marriage and they act like a couple.

I think you need to evaluate what you want. You are divorced. Do you want a life of being the other woman, or do you want more. In five years, do you see yourself here, posting about how he is *still* with his W and how your time is less and less?

Feelings, you have feelings for each other. Yes, okay, but keep in mind it has been a month. You are still in the honeymoon period. Also, keep in mind that for you, being divorced, this relationship is reality. For him, married, it is mostly a fantasy. What he doesn't get at home. What he wanted. He is in a fog right now. Affair Fog. You can choose to let him take you with him or not.

Sigh. Just be careful.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz