New Here

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2010
New Here
11
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 1:12pm

Hi all, I'm new to this board. Haven't lurked much, just have to get this out somehow! It's a very long story how I came to be in this situation, so I will try to keep it short. The semi-short version is this: marriage is completely on the rocks, DH has told me he doesn't love me anymore is no longer attracted to me, had his 3rd EA, I literally called the lawyer the morning before he came home and said he wanted to work things out. Things were great the first week or so, I could tell he was really trying, but now he's stopped giving me what I need emotionally (and physically) again. I talked with him about it yesterday, and he basically told me I was being clingy, and that I needed to get over it, because he's just not that type of person (except he IS, when he wants to be). In the meantime, an old friend recently contacted me on FB. I had a huge crush on him in high school, and the second he contacted me, it all came rushing back. Our conversations started out innocently enough, he's a divorced single dad, and we talked a lot about life with kids and such, then as we talked more, it became more and more flirty, and well, I'm all sorts of wrapped up in it now. I find myself thinking of him much more than I think about DH.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 2:32pm

Hi, and welcome to MAS just wanna be me!

Based on what you've said, I'd guess that some of what you're feeling right now is definitely due to getting positive attention from a man.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 2:54pm

Welcome to MAS Just!

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2010
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 3:54pm

Thanks Anotherseyes!

"As far as your marriage goes, I don't know how you hang in there"

Honestly, the biggest thing holding me back from D is my kids. My parents are divorced, and I hate always having to choose sides- I don't

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2010
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 4:21pm

Thanks Lexi! Nope, don't mind the abbreviation at all!

"You should try to decide what to do about your marriage as if the EA didn't exist"

That's what I'm *trying* to do. I really don't see myself ever being happy with him, and I do think its something I deserve. But its hard to separate my feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 4:29pm

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 4:53pm
just_wanna_be_me wrote:

It's kind of a fear of everything, I think. My H has been so degrading toward me lately, I have very little confidence left. I'm very afraid that once EAP sees me IRL he won't be as into me as he seems to be now. He's seen pics of me of course, but I feel like I don't look as bad in my pics as I do IRL. Other than pics, he hasn't seen me since high school, and I definitely look different! I want to see him, I'm just afraid of rejection I guess. But, that's also any new relationship I suppose. Another part of it, is I feel "out of the loop" LOL. After 8 years, I feel like I don't know *how* to be with anyone else. Does that make sense?

Since you're new here, I'll share a bit of background on myself: I'm 38, and met my AP when I was 15.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2010
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 10:08am

dang evil FB!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2010
Sat, 10-30-2010 - 9:24am

Thanks for the input Silly!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2010
Sat, 10-30-2010 - 9:29am
Thanks Anotherseyes! That really helps. I talked with AP, and he was very sweet and reassuring. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't "expecting" anything more than talking (and probably flirting!) to happen. If that's where things go, that's where they go, but I want it to be without any pressure, KWIM?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2010
Sat, 10-30-2010 - 9:30am
Thanks for the support Daisy! I'm glad I found this board! :)

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