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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
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Tue, 03-30-2004 - 1:33pm
I am single woman who is involved with a MM. The problem is that he is not interested in me but I am always trying to get him involved in me. How do try and get to get him interested in me and respond to my flirtations? He sure does talk to me like a friend. Any help would be great. TIA

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
In reply to: switch_and_bait
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 2:06pm
Um... ok, I'm hoping that your name of "switch and bait" is meant as some sort of double entendre... and that your post is something of a humorous tactic. If so, okey-dokey.

If not... on behalf of MM everywhere...

LEAVE HIM ALONE!

We have enough problems and challenges dealing with life and deciding what we want and what to do and whether or not our own happiness supercedes that of those around us and in what conditions it does so.

Sorry if you're serious and I'm sounding harsh, but the last thing anyone needs is to be talked *out* of their marriage when they aren't really trying to leave or seeking anything else. As MM, we are capable of friendships, you know... maybe that is why he treates you like a friend. You say you're involved, but it sounds a lot like you're wishing you were involved. In which case, you haven't reached the "affair" level yet. You need to check for a different board.

rain

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
In reply to: switch_and_bait
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 2:21pm
My name refers to the ways I try to "ensare" the MM into my life. I am so in lust with him. How can I leave him alone, when he is so tempting? I keep thinking how fun it would be to have as a sex partner and keep fantazing about it. He has told me unwittingly that he is great in bed. Who wouldn't want that... lol. Plus I want him as friend as we can talk about a lof og things that don't make a whole lot of sense.. you know just silly talk. :) Please advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
In reply to: switch_and_bait
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 2:54pm
ok, you really have to be just looking around for a spark of argument or something.

geez, I really hope you're joking.

if not, check into some other board (haven't looked, but I'd assume there's a "homewrecker" forum.) This one is for people dealing with affairs and the effects thereof, not people who just think it would be fun to snare someone else's partner into sex.

killfiled

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
In reply to: switch_and_bait
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 2:57pm
I also have another man who is not married but he is seeing another girl, so should try him? Is that OK??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: switch_and_bait
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 3:04pm
U should try a single man.

Men are weak when it comes to women's advancements and if MM has stopped you please try to respect it. Not everyman or MM wants to cheat. And I am pretty sure if everything was perfect in my M and the other men's M we wouldn't of cheated either.

Respect his wishes and go after a single man.

I know that the unatainable makes it more wanting for some reason but do not go after either man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
In reply to: switch_and_bait
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 3:11pm
Do you think I have some problem running after men who are unattainable? I know I need to stop going after married or otherwise committed men. I just can't seem to stop gravitating to these men. Its like I want to diss their partners or something... I must be weird.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: switch_and_bait
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 3:16pm
I think it may be a commitment issue. You know that with a taken man there can only be so much commitment. Maybe you are affraid of a real relationship and that is why you are attracted to commited men.

Sorry i am not a phsycologist or anything it just seems this may be the case or maybe I read it somwhere.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
In reply to: switch_and_bait
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 3:21pm
Do you think I can take some medicines to fix my "commitment" problem? Are there any help for people like us? Can we use this excuse to get marrried men over and over again?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
In reply to: switch_and_bait
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 3:43pm
Ok, I HAVE to throw in my two cents here. While I question the seriousness of your posts, I will assume them to be real. I don't know what you think you want, and I am not sure you do either, but I can tell you that I NEVER would have set out specifically to make MM mine. I am also single and getting involved with MM has been one of the most difficult things I have done in my life. It is a constant rollercoaster and while it has some amazing highs on it, the lows can be awful.

I think I can speak for many people on this board when I say that most of us didn't just decide to come on to and get involved with people who have commitments elsewhere. In mine, we became friends over time and then one day it was like BAM for both of us and then the next thought was "oh god, what do we do now?"

While it is sexy and exciting, it is also painful and messy. While I am single and have no one to worry about hurting on my end, the doubts and guilt sometimes kill me. I can't even begin to imagine the doubts that MM has. (ALL THIS TURMOIL and the A is only 2 weeks old and hasn't gotten physical yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I don't know if I am making any sense here, but I am just trying to show you that an A is not something to intentionally go out looking for. My advice to you would be to leave him (both hims) alone. If they have not responded to your advances then they do not want to cheat. I know it may not be what you want, and I am sorry, but relationships (whether physical, emotional or both) only work if both parties are interested. You can't force someone to be with you.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
In reply to: switch_and_bait
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 3:52pm
I am real person who has this real problem... This thread is not a joke, not even a little bit. I am dead serious. I guess I will have to leave them alone if they don't want to do anything with me. :(

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