New here.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
New here.....
2
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:31pm
Hello Everyone:

Have been reading the posts here for a week, and thought it time to step out of the shadows.

A little about me. Married 19 years, most of them very unhappy, staying for the children (sound familiar?). Met a wonderful man a month ago. Similar situation as myself. So far nothing physical has happened. Both of us want to take things slow. We talk on the phone or on line daily, and find this time together a safe haven from the spouses we are chained to for the time being.

I would be so grateful, if all of you who are in a loving EMA, can give me words of advise. I'm taking this slow, but know in my heart AND mind he is someone who can be loving, kind and a friend. I do not seek another husband (been there, done that). But advise of any kind would be so appreciated.

Thank you all in advance. Have a lovely evening

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 9:05pm
Hi belle and welcome,

It's good to see that you seem to have the right mind set in what you want from your EMA... but it's also a matter of coming to terms with it too.

I've been in my EMA for just over 3 years now... while MM and I have not spoken of love between us... I do love him and I feel that we have something special between us. But I do admit that it was a little hard to deal with all the emotions when I finally did admit to myself that I had let myself fall in love with him... but I've jumped that hurdle and I love him for what we have and in doing so can manage to deal with the fact that there will be nothing more... I just want to love him for the relationship we have... I hope that makes sense?

I've also managed to balance out my marriage... but where things differ... I want to be in my marriage for not only my children but for me. We've had some rough times... and still have... but we also have a lot of good things together and while I no longer feel in love with DH... I do have a great deal of love for him... and that keeps me strong.

My time with MM is special... he stimulates not only my body but my mind as well... and he takes me away from the reality of life for just a little while.

I'm not sure that I've given you much advice to help in anyway... but I'm sure you will find something on the board that will help you through this new phase in your life.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 10:59pm
Thank you for your reply. I will continue to take things slow, and visit here. These are uncharter waters; so I think we learn as we go. It has made me realize, if nothing else, because the time he and I share is so limited, we need to focus on "us", and try to close out all the negative stuff that can creep into our lives.

Look forward to posting again in the future. All the best..........