New here

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2010
New here
2
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 11:11am

Hi everyone I'm new here. I've been married for about 3 going on 4 years and have been with my AP for 7 years. It's funny reading what everyone writes because for a long time I've felt like our A was special. We are deep in love, soul mates but because of the circumstances we can not be together. At one point I was the SW and he the MM, now we are both married.


Lately I've been feeling like leaving my job, and moving out of state because this may be the only way I can stop this A. I feel so terrible for my H because I am a Cheater. This is not the first time I've cheated on him, although we were extremely young when it happened and separated for 5 years after. It's all so stressful.


I am madly in love with AP, beyond anything I have ever felt for anyone, but with my track record if by chance we ended up together I would probably cheat on him. We talk about being together and I tell him this (I tell him everything) but he feels like we would be perfect. I feel the same way but...


You just never know how you are going to feel when the excitement of an A ends and the normalcy of life kicks in.


The chances of us ever being together is slim to none.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: j_net
Sat, 04-17-2010 - 1:20pm

Welcome to MAS j-net!

This is a great place to share feelings and opinions, and support others in an affair. I'm not sure how to help you, it seems like your post is more of a vent than anything. I will say, however, that "once a cheater, always a cheater" is not always the case. There are people here who truly feel their cheating is over, after ending up with their AP. But you ARE right - when an affair "settles" into a normal R, there are no longer the highs and lows and the drama of an A. Those of us from dysfunctional families might yearn for the drama, even if we say we hate it - it feels "familiar" to us because we grew up with it. All things to think about in your personal "self analysis".

Hope to see you posting more!

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
In reply to: j_net
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 3:15am

Don't look at your situation as you will always be a "cheater". Everyone is herre for different reasons. You may need to look at who you aare and want to be before labeling yourself. Meeting my AP was part of making changes in my life because my H wouldn't grant me a divorce until he developed his vices.


I'm sure you are a wonderful person, you just need to find that person and hold your head up high. There are also marriage counsellors to help if you choose to make any marriage work.


I should know all about them. My H got us fired from 4 different ones, even the pastor at our church told us we shouldn't stay married.