I am just so confused and need some help. I have only just found this site and hope some of you can give me some advice. Ok, here goes, I have been married 12 years and have 4 great kids. I don't work, partly because the kids are still young, and partly because my hubby doesn't want his wife working. Our marriage has been going through a rough patch for about the last year, but hubby doesn't seem to think we have a problem at all so it is really hard to get anything sorted. I have been friends with this guy for about 6 years now, via our kids being friends initially. For the last few weeks I have been going round his house once a week while hubby babysits (hubby has no problem with this - he's not keen on the friendship but trusts me completely). We get on really well and up until this week have just been friends. Last night I went round there, and he confessed he has feelings for me, but doesn't want to do anything to wreck my marriage as his own was wrecked due to his wife having an affair. Anyway, we had a real heart to heart, ended up kissing and things progressed from there. I went home afterwards to hubby who doesn't suspect a thing.
Thing is, I don't feel guilty at all - what happened felt right and natural, and I know it will happen again as I want it to and so does he. What does this say about the state of my marriage? I don't want my marriage to end - it would affect the kids so badly and they are everything to me. Also, I still love hubby, but have never felt with him how I did last night with this other guy. Also, I wonder what this other guy thinks of me as his own marriage ended in similar circumstances?
I know what I am doing is wrong, but is it wrong to want a little bit of happiness for myself? Or is this just selfish, and should I go back to being a wife who stays at home every night, cooking, cleaning and catering for my hubby's every whim? He would be happy then, so would the kids and it would only be my life that was wasted, instead of potentially destroying everyones lives if this should ever come out. I'm so confused.
Honey, just make sure you're not going from one controlled environment to another. It is time to do what you feel is best. Be a little selfish. No sin in that. And please don't be afraid to come here for comfort when you need to.