New Here and in need of support
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| Thu, 09-18-2003 - 12:41pm |
I'm new here, although I've been lurking for awhile. I want to give you back ground and explain how I became a MW having an EMA with a MM. I met this man when we were 13 & 16. We were together until I was 17. We spilt up and seen one another a few more times before going separate ways..we spilt not by choice but by circumstances of our families - I moved 2 1/2 hours away.
I got married 2 years later to a wonderful man, who has treated me wonderful. We have 3 children and a nice home. A few years ago my sister contacted me telling me this man was looking for me...I knew I couldn't contact him, I had feelings for him that were too strong and I knew that if I did what would happen, out of fear i decided not to contact him at all. I never stopped thinking of him and never a day went by that he wasn't on my mind. When we went to war with Iraq, I knew I had to find him, because he was in the milatary last I had heard and I was so worried about him, I knew i had to find out if he was ok. This is 3 years after he tried contacting me....
I called and found his phone number and called him. We started talking like all the years between had not passed. We decided to meet one another...and then it lead to me comming her for support. I am now in a full blown affair and need some guidance,and direction, as well as someone to talk to that understands.
I love this man, I always have,and I always will. I also love my Husband and my children...I am in love with two men and I am torn.
I don't want to hurt and betray my husband, but I want to be with this OM so much that the risk is worth it to me....
I don't know if we will ever have anything...to have something more than what we have now will hurt too many people....but I don't know if I'm strong enough to continue on with just this and no more.... Am I?
I look forward to getting to know all of you- thank-you for listening.
~Wishing~

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I'm new here as well, going threw the same thing and feeling completely torn. But let me ask you something, don't you feel so guilty...oh man I do, it drives me crazy. I think my husband know that I'm having an EMA but I think he's in denial.
My issue is my husband and I are trying to have children and yet I'm doing what I'm doing. I wish I never got into this, but my lover is so good to me, great sex, listens, makes me laugh, so I don't want to get out because he gives me so much emotional support, everything a woman looks for in a man.
What are we going to do?
THanks for posting to me about this. I don't know what we're going to do... I really don't. Each day I feel different about what way I should handle the situation. It changes so drastically. As far as guilt...I do feel quilty at times, and other times I don't. My H and I have been married 13 years and I swore I would never have an EMA, never...how can people do that> Now I'm one of those people. I often turn my guilt into anger toward my h , it's not fair but I'm not doing it consciously, I just notice that it happens, probably because I want to have a reason to be doing what I'm doing.... crazy i know. I wish you all the best with your situation and know I'm here for you as we go through this. Can anything good come of this? For those of you who have been through this, how does it end? I don't want to hurt anyone ....or myself.
~Wishing~
Thanks for responding to my post. Your situation is different but still the emotions are strong and true. This is a hard thing to go through and I'm so glad that I don't have to go through it alone. I appreciate your words of encouragement and I hope and pray no one ever knows...
~Wishing~
My emotions go from high to low, sometimes daily. Other times, seems like we can go for weeks and everything is perfect. Right now, we are in another one of our "ruts" it feels like and I'm not sure if he's backing off or what right now. I like you always thought I would never be involved in anything like this and I honestly know without a doubt I wouldn't do it with anyone except him. I too sometimes feel like I could risk everything I have for him and then my head tells me what a fool I'd be if I did. But I know that I love MM...I always have and I know I always will. I have a good husband who is really, really good to me and I know he loves me with his whole heart. I too am so confused about loving them both, but yet...I know I do. Like you...I too have three kids and have been with H for 16 years, which seems like such a long time sometimes. I can't see "giving" that up but at the same time I can't see "giving" MM up this time either.
I think I've come to a point that I'd rather have MM a little rather than not at all, even if that means having to continue this and sometimes I wonder if I have the strength at all to do either. If you'd like to email me, my address is prettyribbons4u@yahoo.com
You situation and mine sounds so much alike...Good luck with whatever you decide.
PR
What question? I'm sorry I don't understand what your asking me.
~Wishing~
Thanks,
~Wishing~
T
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