New Here and in need of support
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| Thu, 09-18-2003 - 12:41pm |
I'm new here, although I've been lurking for awhile. I want to give you back ground and explain how I became a MW having an EMA with a MM. I met this man when we were 13 & 16. We were together until I was 17. We spilt up and seen one another a few more times before going separate ways..we spilt not by choice but by circumstances of our families - I moved 2 1/2 hours away.
I got married 2 years later to a wonderful man, who has treated me wonderful. We have 3 children and a nice home. A few years ago my sister contacted me telling me this man was looking for me...I knew I couldn't contact him, I had feelings for him that were too strong and I knew that if I did what would happen, out of fear i decided not to contact him at all. I never stopped thinking of him and never a day went by that he wasn't on my mind. When we went to war with Iraq, I knew I had to find him, because he was in the milatary last I had heard and I was so worried about him, I knew i had to find out if he was ok. This is 3 years after he tried contacting me....
I called and found his phone number and called him. We started talking like all the years between had not passed. We decided to meet one another...and then it lead to me comming her for support. I am now in a full blown affair and need some guidance,and direction, as well as someone to talk to that understands.
I love this man, I always have,and I always will. I also love my Husband and my children...I am in love with two men and I am torn.
I don't want to hurt and betray my husband, but I want to be with this OM so much that the risk is worth it to me....
I don't know if we will ever have anything...to have something more than what we have now will hurt too many people....but I don't know if I'm strong enough to continue on with just this and no more.... Am I?
I look forward to getting to know all of you- thank-you for listening.
~Wishing~

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You know your 100% right. Thank-you for pointing out all the possibilities and making me see the different senerios. It is true someone will get hurt and I know I will hurt myself before ever hurting my children. MM and I have talked and We both have children, we are going to try to have our EMA til our children are grown. I don't know if this will work or not as we both go through life changes but we are willing to try. He searched for me for 15+ years, he doesn't want to let me go again.... I have loved him ever since we were first together and I can not let him go again either. Thank-you again.
~Wishing~
I wanted to say hello and that I'm so glad there our those of us on this board who can totally understand what were going through. First love's never die, do they? Looking forward to sharing with you.
~Wishing~
While you may not find all the answers you want and need... you will certainly get support with an 'ear' to listen and a 'shoulder' to lean on :)
First and foremost... you should do what you need to do... for yourself and never anyone else. If you are not yet ready to walk away from you marriage... then don't... only do when you and only you are ready to take that step... and don't for a minute let anyone persuade you... no matter how much you love them.
I've noticed that for now... you are going to try holding the marriage together and keep your EMA too... it can work... but as long as you put as much into one relationship as the other.
I've been in my EMA for 3 and a half years... I've experienced a world wind of emotions and even been caught out by DH... we almost split... but that is a whole other story. I did realise then though that I was not ready to give up on what we had... and 2 years later... here I still am.
My marriage has certainly improved... and in many ways I feel it is because of my EMA... I will admit that my feelings for DH have changed and I no longer love him with all my heart... a part belongs to MM... but I do still love him. I take courage in that and keep strong.
While life is not perfect... it's good and I'm content... I have my marriage and family and then I have MM... they are two pieces of a puzzle that fit together to make a picture... and for now... that picture is mine.
again... welcome to the board
luv and hugs
Sweet
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
Thank-you and everyone else for the welcome and support. I understand sweet what your saying, this is your picture and I think I have mine. I can't seem to give up either side and I don't want to. I will take things as they come and try hard to put my love and attention into both. I appreciate all of you being here and listening. Thanks !
~Wishing~
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