New here and telling my story
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New here and telling my story
| Mon, 05-24-2004 - 5:28pm |
I have been lurking for quite some time and have finally gotten the courage to post. I guess I am just looking for support in my situation. I have been married for 7 yrs. And honestly I cant say I have ever been completely happy. Things were really bad between h and I recently. I started chatting to a guy in the internet after 2 yrs of marriage. We have catted pretty consistently for the past 5 1/2 yrs. During this time he has gotten married, had kids and just recently got divorced. We live clear across the country from each other. But I would give anything to meet him. We IM each other ever day, email and also call each other. I feel really connected to him and he says he feels the same way. I honestly feel like I love him. I question myself on how I can possibly love someone who lives clear across the country whom I have never met. I dont tell him that I think I love him in fear he will think I am a fool. I talk to him about everything in my life. We had lost touch for awhile when he was shipped across seas (hes in the army). When he returned home he had a EMA and about the same time I started one with a friend I went to highschool with. He ended his and then got a divorce. I have since ended my EMA because I feel so strongly about my guy on the internet. I know I am probably rambling in this but this is the first time I have let it all out. He talks about flying over to see me but I would only be able to get away during the daytime. He told me even an hour with me would be worth it. Right now I feel stuck in my marriage due to some financial responsibilites. I am soo afraid that he wont wait for me and dont have the courage to ask how long he will wait for me becuase I am afraid it wont be long enough. Well I guess thats it for now.

welcome to the boards, you'll find a lot of support hear as well as "tough love". I have a question though... have you ever exchanged pictures. It doesn't really matter because anyone can send any picture, but it would seem after this much time somewhere along the line you two would have. I don't know your entire story but I always say (to myself included) you have to EARN a divorce. You have to overturn every rock and look in every dark place to make sure you can't work out the M. I married young, got caught up in the whole baby making time and before I knew it I was married 20 years to a good friend, but one that I don't have a deep connection or intimacy with. He isn't a bad guy, but we have our "issues" and I'm not real sure they are fixable. You have to get to the point where you at least know what the problem is and you talk about it.
I have talked to my H and he is trying, so if I can find a way to find intimacy with him we might be ok. I think online one can be anyone they want to be so be careful, even after 5 1/2 years.
It's nice to "meet" you and again welcome
:)
dd
We have exchanged a ton of pictures. We both have digital cameras. I have seen pics of him with his family and while he was overseas. He was actually overseas when we first started chatting. Then we didnt have digital cameras and actually sent pics snailmail. I have both his home, work and cell numbers. I can call him anytime. I think we both honestly know the other one pretty well for only being an online relationship. We talk on the phone several times a week.
When I met my h I said I wouldnt get into a long term relationship I had just gotten out of a 3 yr relationship. It didnt happen and within 7 monthes of seeing each other I got pregnant. We were married shortly after our dd was born. He has quite often in the relationship been verbally abusive. Only twice did he ever shove me. I feel no connection to him what so ever anymore. He has been out of work for close to a year. This has caused a lot of stress in our relationship as I dont feel he is doing anything to look for work and he does nothing around the house or with the kids. Right now I dont feel the relationship is fixable and dont feel I want it to be.
Cham
Well at least you didn't have anymore children. Again I don't know enough about your situation to tell you what to do. Just know that we all are hear for whatever road you take. Just one thing though.... don't Jump right into another marriage even with the internet guy... get to know him in person first.
:)
dd
Edited 9/20/2004 1:31 pm ET ET by seansluv
:) Cham
Thanks for telling me some of your experience. I constantly worry if I am the only one. I constantly wonder if he will or has found someone where he lives. For now I am going to trust him. Just because of his availability to me. I have noticed his fwds are to people at work, his family and me. So for now I am going to take him for his word. I am not going to leave my h just for him. My dad actually lives in the same state as him and being I have nothing here I would probably move there anyways and see how things go from there.
I am sorry yours ended so bad and I hope and pray mine doesnt. I feel like I have so much into this I know I would be devestated. Thanks though for the support!
:) Cham