New here... going out of my mind!
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New here... going out of my mind!
| Sat, 03-07-2009 - 8:07pm |
I'm very nervous to post, but I'm going crazy and feel
| Sat, 03-07-2009 - 8:07pm |
I'm very nervous to post, but I'm going crazy and feel
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Maystone..
I posted on this forum for a bit. And I do come here to read now and then. I'm currently on the EAS board. But your story got to me and I feel very compelled to respond.
My A started with a guy from my work. I'm single..he's a father with many young children. A lot! I can't implore this enough to you..you should run away from this as fast as you can. First and foremost you will never come first to him. His W and his child will be the most important. He is having his cake and eating it too..it's that simple. It's all romantic and lovey dovey with you guys now..but you're not living in reality. I know how hard it is to work with someone you have chemistry with. I got sucked into it for two years!! You will experience nothing but pain and sorrow and frustration if you stay with this man. You are his option. Not his priority. Of course he is happy. He has the best of both worlds while you wait around for his every move. Don't do this to yourself....!!! Find a man who is single who can devote time to you. Don't waste your time here..You won't win. You will not be happy and he'll do nothing but string you along.
Sorry to be harsh..I know his is a support board and you'll get different advice..but these are no-win situations. His child needs him to grow up with parents who love each other..think about his child. Don't do it!!!!!
Be strong and walk away..you don't want the pain..I've lived it..I know.
Peace & Love
Logan
I am single. I have been with AP for 3 years. Its hard at times. Sometimes I go out a lot and then I go through phases where I stay home. I have meltdowns on holidays sometimes because I am alone and get angry at the path that I have chosen. I do not date. AP and I have tried ending things and I began dating a couple of times in the beginning, but nobody seemed to live up to him and now I just do not want to date anyone. In the first 2 years of our relationship it seemed that we would see one another for a while then stop. This last year has been so much better. We have gotten to know one another a lot better and there have been no "break-ups" or whatever you want to call them. I think one thing that has helped is that I have finally gotten through to him that even though I know he loves me, I need to hear from him. I know that he is busy-has 3 teenagers, a sick W, and a demanding job--but just stay in touch. As long as I hear from him regularly in some form or fashion (he lives 3 hours away) or we see each other, I will not get all emotional. He has gotten it finally. Sometimes we talk every day for hours at a time and sometimes it may be 2 days, but he knows that by day 3 I am really getting anxious. He teases me about it, and that is ok--as long as I hear from him. This works for us.
It seems to me that it would be harder when one person is single and the other married. I am sure that others would disagree, but I think it's because all my focus is him--I do not have a H to think about and make plans around. I love him with all that I have to give and I know that he loves me. I guess I have gotten off the subject and interjected too much of my own story-sorry.
I am a MW but what i read here is that being the single one is tough.You either can deal with it or not.
Dont worry about the sex part as those who look soo hot and sexy ,are sometimes sex starved ,lol! Its the emotions which bind you together in the long term R.
Good Luck to you!
Logan,
Thanks so much for the response.
mississippigirl - I can relate to your statement, "I love him and I know he loves me."
I just found your thread maystone.
Obxbell,
Yes, after reading this post, this does not even seem like the same person.
Actually, you don't know what is in my best interest...I clearly said, I was looking to find out what other single gals do in my situation...how they handle being with someone, yet not being with someone.
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