New here. in A with hubby's friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2006
New here. in A with hubby's friend.
3
Fri, 06-26-2009 - 6:20pm

My H is my best friend and I do love him dearly. I'm not in love with him, however, our sex life is practically nonexistant, we don't really talk much, and he is very irresponsible with money. We recently relocated due to his job and some friends from work have been hanging out at our house a lot. One of his friends began flirting with me and sending me sexy texts and stuff, and after a month we began having sex. It is strictly physical, and we promised each other that it would not get emotional. The sex with him is phenomenal and I seriously can't get enough of him. I do things with him that my husband would never do. We've done it at my house when my husband was asleep upstairs, done it in my backyard, and I've even snuck out in the middle of the night to drive 20 minutes to his apartment- sneaking in past his roommate who is another friend of H's (a little too honest of a friend and would tell him immediately if he knew anything).
I am trying hard not to get emotionally attached, but face it- I'm a girl, and things happen. I know that if I let on that I am starting to have feelings, our A will stop immediately. Of course if H finds out, not only will the A stop but my marriage will also end- which at the moment I am less worried about losing my H than I am losing my OM.
I was with OM 2 nights ago, and then H decided last night that he wanted to have sex. It was the first time I'd been with H since weeks before the A started, so that was horrible. Not the act itself, but just how it made me feel. I was so scared he would be able to tell somehow, plus I was still really sore from being with OM. I had to fake it with H, and never felt so dirty in my life afterwards. Not guilty. Just dirty.

OM is leaving in August for a year in Iraq and I am already in agony thinking about him going away for an entire year. How am I supposed to hide my feelings when I am going to miss him so much?

Anyway- that's me. Hopefully someone else can relate to some of this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Fri, 06-26-2009 - 6:42pm

You sound pretty good, like you've taken the plunge and begun having sex outside your marriage without any guilt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2006
Fri, 06-26-2009 - 8:07pm
This is my first physical affair. I had an emotional affair a few years back and that was nearly impossible to overcome- but yes this is my first time having sex with anyone besides H- since we've been together (12 years).
I didn't seek it out, and I have no intention of looking for a replacement. This thing with my OM just happened and it was so amazing I kind of compare it to an addiction. I know he sees other women, and I try to not let that bother me. I just don't think about that.
But thanks. Good to know that at least one person thinks I'm doing it right... lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2009
Sat, 06-27-2009 - 2:42pm

>>>"I kind of compare it to an addiction"<<<

It is an addiction. It does something to change the chemical balance in your brain. Before you know it, you'll want it more and more, that's when you have to be very careful and extra vigilant that your H don't find out. It's bad enough you're having and A, it might pushed him over the edge to find out it's with his friend.

>>>"I know he sees other women, and I try to not let that bother me."<<<

Then I won't have tell you to use protection.

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