New here, kind of {m}

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
New here, kind of {m}
4
Mon, 11-17-2003 - 10:47am
I have posted here before, under a different name, but had cut contact with MM for a while for a few different reasons. I saw him about a week ago and he asked me to call him. I called him and he wants to see me again. I am on a roller coaster, on one hand I want to see him again but on another I am not so sure I should. I was hurt, which was one of my reasons for cutting contact with him. I felt like it was a one way relationship, I had to call him, I had to make arrangements to see him and sometimes once I got there I'd just feel like he'd rather I wasn't there (sometimes I'd just drop in...since it was hard for me to call him at times). He would get put off because I hadn't called him in a few days but the phone works both ways...he could call me too but he just didn't. Now him telling me he wanted me to call him and then telling me he wants to see me is a step in the right direction, perhaps he's realizing his mistake? I found so much comfort and support last time I visited here that I thought I'd come back while I ride this roller coaster again...not sure how long the ride will be but I'm going to try to enjoy it. Sex is even more non-existant with H now than when I started seeing MM the first time.

justneedmore

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
Mon, 11-17-2003 - 11:06am
Justneedmore, Welcome back ! Hoping things work out for you and your OM.

Wishing

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 9:38am
Don't be angry about your MM not calling. Men just don't think about that emotional connection we must have by hearing from them frequently. Maybe he is more comfortable with you calling him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 9:56am
Hi there, I can relate to some of what you are saying too. I recently had a sort of long break from MM, it was more his choosing, not mine. Which was really hard for me to deal with, because for almost 2 years we had been talking/seeing each other on a regular basis, usually getting together every week. But he eventually got ahold of me again and apologized, telling me what the problems were that kept him from seeing/talking to me. So I took the opportunity to TELL him it hurt my feelings alot with him doing that for so long, not hearing from him. He apologized. We got together again a week and a half ago. I think he realizes now that if he wants to keep this going he will have to be more respectful of my feelings. Because since I saw him again, he's been in contact regularly like before, almost like nothing happened. I just want things to be like they were, it was a good relationship for us both. But it is true, men get preoccupied with other stuff sometimes and they don't really see the emotional part of things as we do.
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 10:11am
I can relate to this, esp. at the stage of your ema you're in. I've told MM about how I felt our R was a one-sided R to which he says it's not. Sometimes we get more emotional than mm's can handle; afterall, they're dealing w/ a W at home too and that's the last thing they want is some clingy female making demands on them. Then I read an article in a recent Oprah magazine where Dr. Phil says that men like to go for the hunt, they're visual, etc. Altho I knew all this, it was good reading with good reminders as I tend to think w/ my emotions at times, and this made me think more logically (like men). I got busy, plunged myself in decorating my house and spent fortunes and put MM on the back burner so to speak. When we did meet (for business) keeping in mind that this man is VERY visual, I dressed very professional and basic with clothing that moved the way I wanted and revealed a little but not too much. This got MM hotter than hot. I was too cool.

So that's my secret with my MM. I let the hunter come out in him and let him pursue me and when we do get together I lay it on him in ways he won't/can't forget. Sometimes I just tease a little bit ... just enough. Give 'em what he doesn't get at home. Seduce him and play with him. I now view my MM as my new "Boytoy" and do we have fun "playing".

Luvin