New Here, need input
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New Here, need input
| Sat, 08-23-2003 - 10:11pm |
Hi everyone, need some input, been in EA for 2 years, Rocky marriage for 14 years, H and I seperated 3 wks ago, I have been asking him to leave for 6 months. finally he goes. Other man and I have been caught once before, and the H caught us again. So he threatens OM on the phone. which of course is going to make him pull away, which he did the last time, we cooled it for three months. We know, or I know that for him He is in a very distressing situation, his wife has that wife intuition as I call it, but she has no proof, she is a very mean women, she has tried to run myself and my children off the road numerous times. He doesnt love her, is in a awful marriage, she doesnt love him Im the only love he has known in the 20 years he has been with her. He is a wonderful man. More than what I can give him credit for , we are each others best friend, we have never had a better relationship in our lives. He asked for me to give him 3 years until his children get a little older and also mine. We have planned our adventures together, We have never told eachother that we love one another, it is just there, no need for words, actions speak louder. I feel as though, I am losing him because of H threats, He is well off and feels harm will come to him , his kids and myslef, if not that that she would destroy him financially, I have tried to explain there are laws put in place for just these reasons. I feel the distance on the phone, it is hard to commnicate as my H has bugged the phones tape recorder around the house and him threathing om. I am in such a place I don't know what I should do, Do I leave him alone and allow him to quander in his thoughts and know that he will make the right decisions, not for me but for the sake of his own happiness. (especially when he tells me that I am his Laughter, his only true friend, the one he thinks about all the time) Or go after him, and stay in his thoughts and in his world. I cry every night not knowing how to handle losing the best friend I ever had. Help This is the truest love I have ever known.

First ...Welcome!
Like many on this board, only you can judge if your MM will honestly ever leave his family. Lots of MM say they will and then never get up the guts to do it. I guess that I am lucky (although I don't feel too lucky) in that my MM told me from the rip that he was never leaving his W. My MM is well-off too and I think his obligation to his family prevents his leaving. I can understand it. I am M also.
I can relate to your MM's fear of your H. Has H been violent in the past? Are you really cheating on him at this point since he left 3 weeks ago? Seems to me that you are now free to live your life. Not knowing your H, it is hard to give advice. Only you can know what is in your heart. I am concerned about your H..bugging phone and house and threatening people. Please be careful of him.
Hugs
RH