New here, Needed some advice.
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| Sun, 04-04-2010 - 9:32am |
Takenforaride,
i agree with your persective... feel somewhat the same way. i mean, my H completely changed the day we said i do, and it never went back. i spent nearly a decade trying to make things better, stay hopeful, help him see what we needed. but he never did a thing. i didn't go out looking for an A, but someone just came along, and paid so much attention to me, that i was starved of, that i just couldnt resist. there was actually an 18 month gap between the first time i saw him and the second. the first time, i did not respond to his advances. no communication in between or anything. then a year and a half later... he still had me on his mind, and i did not resist, as i had thought of him DAILY for all that time. its all still very new, and i'm not sure what we will do, what he wants, etc... but i don't think that i can just sit in my marriage completely starved for attention and sex and emotional support anymore.
I'm just a bit scared. Not really guilty, because i don't think my H feels guilty making me miserable, though i have told him for years what he does and how to make things better. But i'm scared for the family. i have two small children that i live for and have been my only ray of light in these years of sadness. i don't want to hurt them. and funny enough, i don't want to hurt my H. though he has hurt me... i guess i just am afraid what would happen if anyone found out. i doubt they would. my AP lives across the country, and we barely see each other, but are planning to at the end of the month, when my H will be out of town...
Any advice on how not to get caught, what may come down the road?
As you can tell, this is not my usual behavior. But it's like my AP touched me once, and it sparked life into me, reminded me that i'm still young, pretty, fun, smart, alive, and sexy... i can't deny that feeling anymore, now that i know the joy it brings to my life...
Neena

Welcome to MAS neenasimone!
I do understand the feelings you are getting from your other man.
Proud to be a
You've
Hi there.
Thanks for the reply. Wow. I had not thought of all the complexities, and ways that someone could really check up on you. Goodness. Scary. But thanks, i needed the honest truth.
I've always gotten quite a few compliments and validity on my looks, personality, and such, just because of the nature of my work. But, I have not had emotional closeness, physical affection and intimacy, and verbal expressions of admiration in so long, I've just felt starved for nearly a decade. Then this person comes along... and I was tempted. Nothing happened, and I mainted absolutely no communication at all. But then, a year and a half later, lo and behold he sought ME out. I wasn't sure why... just a hook up?... but I was still sad and lonely, and that time, I did give in. Knowing it may be nothing, just taking it for the moment. H thought I was spending the night out of town on business, and it never really came up as anything he'd be suspicious of.
Then AP contacted me from his home town. I was a bit surprised... and our communications have been on and off. Some days he'll call or write or text, and others, he's completely out of communication at all. He's pretty busy.... and is married with three kids of his own, so i try to tell myself that's probably it... But i still wonder. Is he just maintaining what little he feels like he has to, saying the right things each time, so he has me hooked till the next time we meet? or does he really care... do i mean something. I'm afraid to ask, but figure i will this week, just because i'd rather have a better idea of what's going on. i don't think it will change my interaction with him, but at least i'll have no expectations... you know?
NeenaSimone
Hi Neena, You asked for advice and I've BTDT so I hope I can help.
I almost forgot the #1 rule to avoid getting caught!
Totally agree with mytwistedmind - DON'T TELL ANYONE!