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| Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:10pm |
I have known that he was sexually attracted to me for several years now. And as the four of us have become closer he has made a few little moves on me. I have never returned his actions until about 2 months ago. I finally admitted to myself that I was feeling the same way towards him. I sent him an email at his work that I wanted to meet with him and talk. He came over and I admitted my feelings of attraction to him. I only got the courage to do this because I trust him so much. I secretly wanted him to tell me that nothing would ever happen, that we would both work hard to make sure it didn't. We wouldn't want to risk our friendships and our marriages. We ended up emailing each other frequently to be discreet and talk about this whole thing. After about 2 weeks we decided after working out all of the details, that we would sleep together. We did, and we both had a hard time physically at first, but in the end, it was great. He said he had a hard time because I had been his fantasy for 5 years and he couldn't "believe" it was becoming reality.
We have both talked about not wanting to end our marriages and being very discreet to protect them. We are both still in love with our spouses. But, we both feel this strong need to be with each other. We "love" each other, but are not "in love" with each other.
We still do things as a group almost every weekend, have barbecues, go out. I do get a little jealous when he and his dw get amorous, but she is his wife. I am amazed at how "normal" I can be with my dh and my best friend (his dw), as they have "no clue" that this is going on. He and I get together for sex and "alone" time about 1-2 times a week
So, has anyone else had this sort of experience? Are we heading toward disaster? We have both agreed that if one of us wants to quit this, the other would give no pressure and just accept that. But, in the mean time we are feeling like we are on a real adventure.
Gigi

there are several posters on this board in your same situation, having an A with H of a social friend. i'm bumping your post up and hopefully you'll get some responses from them.
i can only say to be very careful, don't get lovey-dovey when you are out with others, your H/his W, act normally, but hands off. no lingering looks, winks, sneaky kisses, butt pats, that kind of stuff. unfortunately that's easier said than done. so just be very careful and act as normally as possible.
good luck,
life
Life told me to be very careful, and I have taken her words to heart. I wouldn't want to ruin the friendships we have had with each other for the past 15 years, but the 2 of us can't resist each other. It happens, and you can't deny that.
All I can say is have fun, and be careful....
friend
Anyway, welcome and we're here to listen whenever you need it!!
KC
I am really a lurker and I have posted a few times but I am just watching my P's and Q's
I can not relate to you totally but I am involve w/ someone who is also married and has kids as I do ... been married as long as you & but my A has been going on for 2 yrs and no one is leaving their spouses....and we dont "travel" in the same circles , I give you much credit for that ... but I know how you feel and I am here listening and know you delimma to a point just want you to know ... your not alone ....& I am here if you need to talk
MGT
edited for typo's
Thanks for the welcome and the advice. It is hard to "be good" when we are all together. We are all a kind of touchy/feely group anyway, but now I really gotta watch it.
I am going out with his dw tonight. Then MM and I are getting together tomorrow. What a tangled web *sigh*.
Gigi
I like your username. I feel that way at times. but, this isthe first time in my life I have decided to be "selfish" in my desires. I am really enjoying this and don't want it to stop. So, being careful is most important. I wish it were just "okay" to have a sexual relationship with someone outside of marriage.
Thanks for your understanding.
Gigi
Wow, didn't know so many people were in the same boat. We started our A about the same time as you. The four of us see each other so often, it can be trying at times. I am going out with his dw tonight and meeting up with him tomorrow *yikes*.
Thanks for your understanding,
gigi
Gigi
I never in my wildest dreams thought any of this would ever happen. I just have recently decided that I am not going to go through life always suppressinf my needs. I am actually reveling in it. Just hope we don't get caught!
Gigi