New here. Totally confused about my AP
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New here. Totally confused about my AP
| Tue, 10-28-2008 - 8:20pm |
I started an A with a MM about a month ago. I'm a MW and love my husband but our physical relationship is nonexistent. I'm not sure I'm completely cut out for an A but I can't seem to help myself. I miss being intimate and I'm not dead yet. I'm trying hard not to let my A interfere with my M but not sure how to keep the two separate. In all honesty I'm really enjoying the intimacy and the conversation with my AP. Am I crazy for thinking I can manage this without it affecting my M? I'm also not sure how to take the comments my AP makes. He knows I'm not interested in D and he says he's not either but then he makes comments about me being perfect for him and thinking long term but he never gets into specifics. When I ask him what he means he changes the subject. I can't get him to tell what he means by his comments. Advice?

From my experience hon..Yes the A starts to take a toll on your M after awhile. It is hard especially for women to keep their emotions out of things and In my experience it is difficult to maintain
Thanks for the advice. I've only been in the A for a month but the conversations leading up to it have gone on for months. I really don't want to give him up but I have to tell you that I'm kind of anxious about some of the things my AP says and where they're leading more because I need to nip it in the bud right now before it gets to the point that he's really serious. Know what I mean?
Welcome to the board airbabe and to the rollercoaster that is an A.
Can you keep a M and an A separate?
It is very hard for women to compartmentalise, especially if emotions come into play, I'm not even sure it's possible. It's especially difficult to keep putting in the necessary focus on a M when your focus is on AP. If you can do it, good on you.
Pisces
Edited 11/23/2008 8:37 pm ET by pisces2008
You are so right Pisces. Even though AP makes me so happy..I just don't know how long I can do this werid double life thing. It sure does start to take a toll. It's not that I want to jump ship and begin a new relationship with AP but I would love to just be on my own. But I just don't see that happening without hurting so many people. It is getting harder to lead this double life when my feelings are so wrapped up somewhere else.
I thought going into this that I could keep my emotions out of it and just enjoy myself. Well those blinders are well and truly off now. I do have feelings for my AP but also love my H. If he were a little more involved with me we probably wouldn't be where we are today. I keep asking myself, what have I done?
Very few of us have someone IRL we can tell. This board is a great source of help, words of wisdom, the occasional slap upside the head for over-reacting and general humor to break the stress of being in an A. We may never have met, but I have made some wonderful, close friends here.
Pisces
Edited 11/23/2008 8:38 pm ET by pisces2008