new here;just wanted to introduce myself
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| Thu, 12-04-2003 - 3:20am |
I am Niah....a 33 year old divorced ( very recently ) mother of 4. I live in a very rural state...Oklahoma to be exact...and I HATE it here! Want to move as soon as possible! :P
I met my MM thru a mutual acquaintance, and we began our affair with eyes wide open.
The marriage that I had recently left was VERY abusive. I had come to the conclusion that I wanted NOTHING more to do with a man...at least not where emotions would become involved. I had all my emotional "stuff" packed neatly away in their own little boxes. Children here, work here, family there.
It all worked just fine....until he stomped ALL over my boxes. I mean just demolished them completely! I had convinced myself that this was quite probably THE most perfect type of relationship to be in, after all, how could I possibly become attatched to this man? He was everything I detested. A man who was cheating on his wife. I had gone thru this with my husband, I knew that there was NO way I could ever have FEELINGS for him...I just wanted a booty call ( yes...I said it....LOL) and then he would go away, till I needed his "booty" again. No problem...right? Uh Uh. Nope. Didn't happen that way.
He called me every night before bed, to make sure that I was okay. (My ex had threatened my life on more than one occasion, and I had to take out a protective order, so he was afraid that ex might come at night and hurt me or the kids.)His son and my daughter began dating, so we were in contact ALL the time. His wife had serious health problems arise, and I was asked to stay with them to help with things while she was away....BY HER! I did....and that was it. I was a gonner. Now, hang on, cause here's where it gets hectic....
His wife and I have since become very good friends. I love this woman as if she were my own sister. I love their kids, they adore mine. We spend every major holiday together as a family.( drumroll please) I moved in NEXT DOOR to them. Bought myself a little house right next door.....they WANTED me to. When they move, I plan to as well, at their insistence. We are together every day. All of us. I honestly would not have it any other way, and neither would they. His family at one time, thought that they KNEW we were having an affair, and told him so. They even told his wife. She defended us all. I thought things could not get more F@*#%D up.....oh, but I was wrong.
There is a new family out of all this. Ours. I am now number 2. Meaning wife number 2. As in she is #1, and I am number 2. He calls me this, as well as she does. I think on her part it's just a joke, an inside joke among us all, but not on his part. We have discussed this, he and I. I am HIS. I belong to no one else. I want it that way. This man means the world to me, and I will do anything for him or his family. I cannot imagine my life without these people.
I have decided that it's the perfect relationship after all. Well, almost. I have him when I can, when I need him he's always there. I DO NOT want to take him from her. I would NEVER hurt her that way. I send him home to her...gladly at times....reluctantly at others. See...if I could have just one wish...it would be this ; that we could find enough land to build a HUGE house ( together we have 9 kids) and live under one roof. You guessed it.....it would be a polygamist family, much as we already are. It does not bother me in the least to share him with her, she is one of the kindest women on this planet. I love her.
Don't get me wrong...there are times when it gets lonely. I mean VERY lonely. At times I think it may be worse than the average affair, because I am there to see the kisses between them; the affectionate pats on the rear, the hugs, the laughter between them. It hurts that I can't just reach out and touch him like I want to. It hurts so badly at times that I honestly wonder if it's worth it; then I picture my life without them, and I realize that I would rather have what I have, than nothing at all. So, I pretend that I don't care as much as I do, until he can breach the subject of polygamy with her, and just hope that she agrees. It will be an all or nothing thing when he does. It scares me to death.He honestly loves us both.I don't doubt him one bit. I love him, and I love her too. I can see why he fell in love with her over 20 years ago.
Okay....blast away, if you must. LOL I know this sounds like something from the Twilight Zone or something...but it's really not as strange as it may sound....really.... LOL
Hugz to you all! I'm glad I found this place. I hope that you all will allow me to post here among you, even though my affair is a bit unorthodox ( LOL...talk about an oxymoron!) !
HUGZ!
Niah
a.k.a. Vanz_2

Edited 3/10/2004 4:04 pm ET ET by geek_chic
Im so glad that you joined us and please know that you are amongst the most nonjudgemental group of men and women in regards to affairs and everything to do with them...
Im not really certain of the legal issues in relation to polygamy but would suggest you do some thorough investigating before you make any decisions as to the direction that you are headed.
In regards to you heart and his...I can very easily see how you found yourself where you are right now. Most of us dont have the nerve, if you will, to move in right next door and become best friends with the wife. I sense the strong respect you have for his wife by your willingness to step to the side and play second fiddle when necessary. One thing I want to bring to your attention is that if and when he suggests a polygamist lifestyle to his wife she is going to wonder how long you two have decieved her and she will remember the fact that she defended both of you when the entire family was accusing you of having an affair...she wont take kindly to being made out a fool...just something to consider...
Best of luck to you and keep us posted!!!
cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com
Edited 3/10/2004 4:04 pm ET ET by geek_chic