New here....need advice
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New here....need advice
| Thu, 10-08-2009 - 3:19pm |
I've been having an affair with a MM for a year now. (I'm also married) We've always been attracted to one another, and one day we started flirting and one thing led to another. His marriage was on the rocks because his wife found out he had an affair with someone from work. ( He's also had a one night stand...wife doesn't know about that or me.) We both stated it was a physical thing only....he said he wanted to end it over the summer because it was weighing on him mentally. I agreed to that, but then I found out he was on an affair dating website. When I confronted him, he told me he's been on it for months and never met anyone from it. He said he'd delete the account....which he did. He claims he doesn't want to have the affair anymore, yet came to me a few days ago and we ended up having sex. I can't take this....yes, I want it...no, I don't crap. It's obvious to me he still wants sex. BTW...he and his wife have seen a lawyer and are staring the divorce process. (Because of the other affair) I'd just like some advice from women who have been there.....

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I'm in his shoes.
Welcome! It sounds to me like your AP is really only wanting the sex which is SUPER hard for most of us because we get emotionally involved. I know that's how it is for me and I haven't been involved for very long. I would give you this advice. You have to decide what you want, because being in an A is a HUGE roller Coaster of emotions UP and DOWN. All of us will tell you that right up front. Sometimes it's really awesome and others IT SUCKS! BUT for each of our own reasons we either chose to seek out something or choose to stay in it. I know for me I stay because I love him!!
M
Jilly,
I really think he will find sex elsewhere. OR he will realize what his feelings truly are. My 2cents worth are if he's looking on a site like that he's mainly going to find people who are only looking for a quicky or something on the side. I am saying that for this you should find out if you really are having your needs met? I am NOT saying you shouldn't be happy! (Hence why we are all here) but is he doing that? Is it worth it? If not then you may have to figure out if you can find someone else...
M
I think as a guy we find it easier to separate our sexual part of ourselves from our emotional part in general.
So you have nothing to lose by saying forget it and focus on your marriage yes?
You have the power to stop it and move on.
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