New Here.....Need Advice..(Warning Long)
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| Tue, 07-15-2003 - 4:53pm |
Then, a few months ago. It happened. I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't expect it to happen. I was not looking for it. I met someone online (he is also married, and the same age as me...he is 6 weeks older than me). He also has two kids just like me. He is very unhappy with his wife, she has many selfish signs like my husband, but I won't go into details about that here. We talked online and fell in love. We decided to meet, so he came here (I live 5 1/2 hours south of him) which was hard for him to do. It was hard to get away for two days without her questioning things, etc. We had the most wonderful two days together. I miss him so much. We continue to talk on the phone/email/instant message daily. We are both in love, but feel stuck in our marriages. He is an awesome dad, and does not want to leave his kids but he is afraid it may come to that because he cannot deal with her much longer. This is my first EMA, and his first EMA. Neither of us planned on it happening it just did.
Here is the shocker to the whole story, soon after me and him fell in love, his wife told him she was pregnant. That is the last thing he needed since he is not in love with her. Now my friends (well only 2 of my friends know about what I'm doing) but they both tell me that I should just forget about him now that his wife is pregnant. I tried to do that, but I missed him so much. He told me he cannot stop talking to me either. We are truly best friends. So now what? This whole pregnancy complicates things.....I feel so torn. I feel bad about continuing on like this since I'm married. I do not want to tell my husband about the EMA, so I told him I want a divorce. Who knows when he will actually move out, or when I will get off my lazy butt and file the paperwork...but I know I need to be divorced. After all, if I was with the "one" then I wouldn't be in this EMA in the first place.
I hope to get to know all of you well. I plan on posting here daily, and I hope that I can make some new online friends who will not judge me badly for the situation that I'm in.
Moonlight

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It sounds like you know what you need to do, you just have to figure out how to do it. You say you were separated for 6 months, how did you manage then? I know the position you are in. It is hard when your H does not support you, especially emitionally. And what you get from your EMA is just that, emotional support. I am no longer in an EMA, I am trying to work things out with H. But I have been there, done that.
You will find lots of support here, I know I have in the few months that I have been here.
Welcome, and tc.
itty
Thanks for your kind words. :-)
Moonlight
You will not be judged by me for sure!
The situation you're in is definitly a hard one. Your MM's W is pregnant. Ow.
Does he now feel he has to stay longer because of the new baby on the way?
If you D your H, will you still be with MM? Even though he may not leave his W?
Just a few questions! Welcome, and there is alot of support here.
~passion
I really don't know what to tell you about your MM, but I wouldn't worry too much about him right now. Get your own life together first, the rest will fall into place. If it's meant to be, he will be with you.
hugs,
itty
To answer your question, if I get divorced....and he does NOT leave his W, then no I probably will not stay with him. Not exclusively anyway. I have two kids also, and if I'm going to give up my marriage, then he should be willing to do the same (if he truly loves me). If not, then I will find someone single who I can date. I think I'll be single myself for a while...and just find myself. I got married at 19, which is very young IMO.
Thanks for all your support, it looks like I will fit right in!
Moonlight
It does sound awfully fishy, I would really question that if suddenly she had a "miscarriage". Did you talk to him about it? Does he think something's funny? Some women are good at manipulating men, and she probably knows exactly how to manipulate him.
Would you want a man who is so easy to manipulate?
itty
When I first found out she was pregnant, I told him I no longer wanted to talk to him. (Just because I felt bad, guilty I guess), and he told me he understood, but still loved me, etc. Then we just kept talking anyway.....
I guess I'll see where this road takes me. Can I ask you all something? Do you all believe in signs? (You know, like major signs...like the movie Serendipity)? I didn't use to, but now all these signs are starting to appear...it makes me wonder.
Good for you for wanting to find yourself first!
Actually this happened to me a month ago... My OM is single and he was talking about he and I getting married one day... Well, I panicked. (My messages are in here somewhere!) I panicked because I knew if I D my H, I'd want to be alone.
And even now... I love my OM so much, but would I want to be with him if I were single? I don't know yet.
Welcome again:) ~passion
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