New , need help
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 12-04-2008 - 8:20am |
Hi ! I am so happy to have found this board.there is so much critcisim about having an Affair that there are all sites about why not to and how to avoid, leave alone getting support.
I am a married woman having an affair with a married man.It started at work about 5 months ago.it started off as physical but we both ended up having feelings for one another 2 months into it.we have exchanged 'i love yous'.we are both in our 40s and have bad marriages but we have 6 kids between the marriages.I have 2 grown up boys and he has 4 , 2 are still very small.we have talked that we are not leaving our marriages as of now.Our sex life is amazing since we fessed up our feelings! its soo passionate and fulfilling --out of this world.
My problem? Well, its the coming holidays.i am dreading them like h@ll.one day he takes half a day off from work, i am a nervous wreck. Tommorrow, that is the friday, he is off from work and that makes 3 days in a row!! i am going nuts about these 3 days. I have dealt with the emotional roller coaster for the last 3 months but these hoildays are driving me crazy.We stay in contact ( he calls ) on weekend as well and he has promised me to stay in contact during the holidays and he will keep his word but i am not finding it enough.
How do you feel secure that the holidays will not bring an end to your affair which you dont want to put an end to? Will these holidays break us up or we will come back stronger?does distance make heart grow fonder?? I am in complete addiction to him and he feels the same as well.how to deal with the dreadful holidays??
Please someone help me go through this period.its not about one or two days ,its about a month or so... :`(

Welcome to the board, Jusfolo. I am glad you have found it and now have us listening to you.
you wrote: "How do you feel secure that the holidays will not bring an end to your affair which you dont want to put an end to? Will these holidays break us up or we will come back stronger?does distance make heart grow fonder?? I am in complete addiction to him and he feels the same as well.how to deal with the dreadful holidays??"
When you figure out the answers let me know.. :) .....Because as much as we all hope it will never end, we do not have control over it....Something tells me you are afraid of something and promise of your AP to stay in touch does not just seem enough or it is because you do not believe it? Oh my dear, all these emotions are a part of deal we sealed....My only advice would probably be: whatever happens over the holidays will open your ( and his) eyes on many thngs: was he able to keep in touch, did he feel any guilt, how did he feel about your and his family....however, do not make any decisions over the holidays unless you are 100 % sure. Come talk to someone here, if you need to....
HUGS
thanks for your response, booo26.All i am afraid of is this affair ending for any reason.i am just not ready for it to let it go.My AP does what he says,i have no problem there.life is so beautiful when we are 'on' but again, ..... please fill in the same questions again :( .
what to do that these holidays just vanish? have you or anyone on this board survived the holiday season? if yes, how??
aren't we all afraid it will end. And there is never a perfect time to end an A....Last holiday season my AP went abroad for about a month, he used to text me several times a day, but we only saw each other like once in 3-4 months. He managed to send me several e-mails and text, but it was nothing comparing to when he was here. I just kept reading his old e-mails ( texts i delete immediately). The A i am in right now just started, I do not
Hi Jus -
I wanted to welcome you to the board -you have found a great place to come and vent and get support - it's a great group of folks here.
As to your question - well really, none of us knows how long an A will last - the factors are as varied as there are people involved in them.
I still have 2 more days to go before i see him again.He called me yday right in the morning when i was on my way to work and twice again during the day.i felt so good but he hasnt called as yet and i am having all the crazy thoughts! is he having morning sex with his W? urghhhhh.My AP should have called by now, why hasnt he till now?My boys have gone out with their gfs and its just me and H , in separate rooms.I am pinning for AP.I feel like calling him and hear his voice.i love his touch,the softness of his hands when he spirals them around my body sending shivers all over......Oh, i miss him ! yday we all went out shopping and it was easy to spend the day but what do i do today??
Helpppppp.