New OM stumbled into my life.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
New OM stumbled into my life.....
1
Thu, 09-04-2003 - 2:17pm
Ok, I recently posted about how your first sexual contact was and all that, and at the time I didnt have the knowledge to ad my experience, because my OM was disapearing. He truely is / was the love of my life. But on to new things, right?

I probably come across as being something I am not, so please give me advice and insight...dont ridicule me.

I was in a very emotional EMA with OM for nearly half a year and then all of a sudden he disapeared. I still know he is there, I see him online..he just doesnt talk to me anymore. Go Figure. Men! Ugh! So a while back, I met this very attractive guy when he delivered my things I rented from a rental company. Turns out he lives at my exact address, 2 streets over in my town. He knows my BIL pretty well and my H by chance. But he and I had never met. Fast Forward a month and he and I have started chit chatting on the phone. He has come by the house several times to chat (during the day when H is at work). It has been a mutual attraction-just friendship. He and his live in GF (and mother of his kids) have split up. She moved out and he just isnt sure about his life, his job, anything. I give him advice, and am there to listen....

So he comes over the other day and in the midst of a conversation, he kisses me. On the forehead. It took me by suprise because he is so sweet, and the next thing I know, he kisses me on the lips. I didnt know what to say. He wrapped his arms around me, and held me...in silence for what seemed like 10 minutes (Im sure it was only 2) and then he had to go. SO he stops by yesterday and right away, we broke out into a full fledged make out session. It got really hot and heavy. For the first time, this might be my "Only physical, just friendly" A. Have any of you had this? I mean, you are friends and see each other as friends, confidants,physical A and not emotional?

Am I bad for being able to be gratified in a way my H cant anymore?

We havent had sex yet....when we get close, I get scared of the guilt...ugh!

Thanks!

Jeli

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Thu, 09-04-2003 - 4:34pm
Dear Jeli,

It all sounds pretty normal to me. Be careful,

you are very close to an A. Be sure this is what

you want.

Many here will tell you to be careful about the

emotional dimension, it can sneak up on you without

warning. A perfectly physical A can become much

more without warning. I personally don't think it

can be avoided, but that is just me.

Please don't ask me if you are bad, I try very hard

to not judge. Look within yourself, that is where

the answer lies, and the deamons you will need to

deal with are there too.

You are wise to be worried about the guilt, but I

am not you, and cannot comment.

Good luck!

ditr