New, unhappy and unexplained NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
New, unhappy and unexplained NC
25
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 7:17am
Hello - I am new here and do hope I might be able to get a little support from you all.

I am M and have been having my A with an MM for almost 3 years. I adore him and he brings sunshine into my life like nothing else I have ever known. But, like you all, it is a rollercoaster - fantastic highs and dreadful lows. When it's good, it's like nothing on earth and makes you feel better than anything you can possibly imagine. When it's bad, it crushes you. For some reason - unexplained - we have had virtual NC for almost 3 weeks now. I know he's busy at work, I know that he recently had a W anniversary. But those things have remained unstated and there's been no explanation. It's true to say we've been through worse (arguments etc., he even finished it once). These days I am pretty good at coping with the up and the down (at the start of the A I was dreadful, all over the place). But for some reason I am finding this one really hard. It's longer than normal, by our standards. We usually email every working day - at least once. But the last 3 weeks have been so sporadic - and even then, very one-wordy. I have learnt, to my cost, that he reacts very badly to pressure - so I don't think I will help things by sending an email asking what's wrong. I've sent ones which ask "are you okay?" - and I just get "yes. busy." I know that when we enter into these relationships, that part of the deal is the push and the pull. You just have to learn to deal with it. But I am finding this soo hard. I feel agitated, tearful, lonely, crushed, empty. I know that no one can wave a magic wand for me - but any words of support and understanding would just really help me right now. Thank you all.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 10:40am
Sorry I thought you were the switch and bait type. Looks like you are not. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 10:52am
I don't even know what that means.

I am just looking for a little understanding - and hoping to give some.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:08am
I am sure you don't understand what I meant. :) You getting all of the understanding from this board already, why do you need mine. Fly high...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:25am
Ok - I don't know what has happened here and I am sure it's just crossed wires and nothing more. If I have offended you for any reason, I apologise. There was certainly no intent on my part to do so whatsoever. i genuinely didn't now what your comment meant. I am not from the USA and perhaps its a US phrase which is not familiar to me. In our position, I think we should offer each other as much understanding as possible - don't you think?

Any way - only an open hand of friendship on my behalf.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 8:33pm

I've been in this A for just about 4 years and we have had periods of NC, but never for too long.

 

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