newbie here.. wanted to tell my story

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2009
newbie here.. wanted to tell my story
4
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 3:05pm
Hi. I'm so glad I found this group on iVillage. I'd like to be able to get this out. lol I think I'll feel alot better.
I have been married to my dh for 9 years...we have an almost 9 year old and an almost 3 year old. I met my AP several years ago. Our oldest kids went to preschool together and our families are friends. I've always found him very attractive. We recently moved a few houses down from him and his family (wife, 3 kids) in their subdivision. We've done alot of family things together. The end of June I told him how I felt about him. He responded positively and said he felt the same. We have been emailing and seeing each other every chance we get since then. Here's the difficult part: we both love our spouses very much but are in love with each other too. I can't get this man out of my mind and I literally ache to touch him. He feels the same way about me. Neither one of us has any intention of leaving our spouses but don't want to the other go, either. So what are we supposed to do? Just continue this and hope and pray we don't get caught? I would love to be with him but at the same time I'm still in love with my dh too. Help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2009
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 3:23pm

I am a newbie to MAS as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2009
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 4:33pm
Thank you, wantpeace. I'm afraid you may be right. I've thought about the fact that eventually...somewhere down the line he's going to want to end this and it kills me! We both say 'I love you' and I've often wondered if I feel more for him than he does for me...even though he says all the right things. In 2 months it's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I love this man but I really truly do. It hurts to be away from him.
And for the record, I also know this isn't ethical and goes against what I believe is right but I'm in too deep and living just a few houses down from him and being able to see him everyday would make this very difficult to stop. He agrees with this as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 5:25pm

I'll tell you what I wish someone had told me --- read the Ending the Affair board posts, especially those under Healing Library/D-Days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2009
Fri, 08-14-2009 - 8:40am
Thanks btd. I know you're right. I know this is morally wrong and I fell guilty everytime I look at my H. I think, for me, if my AP didn't live a few houses down where I could see him then it would be much more easier to stop this. I know I NEED to stop but I really don't want to. I understand the consequences and what would happen if our spouses found out but that's not stopping us.