newbie---just have to tell someone...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
newbie---just have to tell someone...
3
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 11:29pm

I am new to ivillage. I just have to tell someone... and also need some advice.

I dated this guy back in 2005. Let's call him "W". We had our differences and he got freaked out about me being a virgin so we moved on with our own way. The night we almost did the deed back when we were dating was the night we decided to break things off.

Fast forward, I got a boyfriend who I have been with him for 2 years. Let's call him "T". I lost my virginity to him. Sometime I am in-love with him, sometime I am not but I love him. Our relationship is not perfect but very close to it.

"W" and I stayed in touch by a few text messages. I could never see myself with "W" ever again but I still wonder what would happened if we did that night... He called me about a week ago and left me a message that he is in town but he is leaving in a week to go to Iraq for 2 years. He wanted to say good-bye. I wanted to also say good-bye.

I didn't call him back... Afraid of what might happened. I don't know if it was faith or just coincidence... We run into each other... We happened to talk about that night and He said I have been on his mind since that night. He asked me if I ever think of him. He said he always wondered how it would be like if we were still together for the last 3 years. We both have significant others now. I didn't want to keep on talking but one part of me wants to go on with all the high I am getting from seeing him again and just wondering how it might have been...

One thing leads to another... We shared an amazing night. Do I feel attach or have feelings for him again? NO. I just felt like I finally closed a chapter of my life. I know my bf has no way of knowing this. He is on a vacation. I had to stayed behind for a major project from work...

Should I tell him about the one-night stand affair with an ex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 11:32pm

No, no, a thousand times no. What purpose would it serve? If it were only to assuage your guilt, it is not fair to your SO. If it is to address problems in your R, there are better ways to do it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 1:00am
I agree totally w/ snow. Never tell something like that if there is anyway to avoid it. Telling him would only hurt him, and your relationship. You did it, it's over, now put it away, and go on w/ your life. I say DO NOT TELL HIM!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 9:01pm
Thank you all for your advice.