New~ish here, with a question.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2009
New~ish here, with a question.....
4
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 5:13pm

I have been lurking for sometime now. I haven't posted due to not feeling the need. However, that changed last evening. AP and I had met yesterday and had a great 'lunch'. In the evening he sends me a text saying he had to ask me something.................


I asked him what he knew he could aske anything... then he asked about my washing machine...lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 9:43pm

Welcome sugahlou. I am a bit confused with your post - are you M or S? I am guessing that you are M and will answer accordingly.

What are the expectations that you have set with him - are you planning on leaving your spouse as well? For your AP, it's very convenient to have someone to lean on while one is going thru a D (I was in that same situation when I went thru my D), so yeah he wants to make sure you're not going anywhere, hence the flattery and the L word.

OTOH, he may be reinforcing the hope that he wants you to initiate D as well so you can be together sooner than later. I don't have enough details on your A to have a better picture...

hugs

trixie

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2009
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 11:54pm

Trixie thanks for the response, when the A started we were both married and looking for physical satisfaction only. We never discussed our situations at home with one another. Only referred to our spouse by their first initial. Truly just a meet a need type of relationship. He has since bought a new home asked my opinion on decoration etc. He has been in the new house since January and now... this latest development.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2008
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 1:19am

Why don't you simply ask him?


If you have known eachother for that long you should be able to have straight forward conversations, no?


Make you position clear and ask for his.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2009
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 9:35am

To be honest, I hadn't asked him for very selfish reasons. We have this trip coming up next week and didn't want to rock the boat before then. I have given it plenty of thought and after seeing him last week can pretty much tell what his answer will be. He has said more very loving things to me. Don't get me wrong, I get that there is some level of emotion involved on both our parts. How can there not be after a year together, but I am not about to leave my marriage. I just need to state my position again, to make sure we are still on the same page.


When I first posted I think I was in shock and not sure what to think of the sudden change. Thank you all for your replies. I am going to "put my big girl panties on" and talk to him no matter what that means for us in the future.