New~very hard situation
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| Sun, 03-01-2009 - 5:52pm |
First let me say hello. I started reading this board last night i have never posted on a board before so i hope i get it right.
SO i'm having an A, with a life time bf of dh's for the past year. DH does not know and i never want him to. The A guy and i must text 100x a day. the thing is its starting to get complicated. He's very jealous of my time with dh. it's a turn off for me. The A guy is single and has been 100% faithful to me and waiting... Well i have realized i am not going to leave my husband.
Dh and i were happy before this. Why did i start the A? Attention i guess he threw everything at me i wanted needed to hear and feel and then there was the passion something i never really ever had felt with anyone before. I realize this is how it always begins. I make dh's life a living hell and i know it. I'm mean short with him and just not very pleasant person to him because of the A guy.
I'm trying to be a better person to dh hes a good man who didn't deserve what i have done. DH has always treated me good, trusted me and has been faithful. I just gave up, stopped trying and broke. It wasn't fair i know this now. I always gave the advise just because you fell in love doesn't mean you stay there, marriage is work and you fall in love over and over again with each other. It's true if you don't give up...i'm an ass. my marriage wasn't bad, i was bored.
The thing is, this friend, the A guy, he's always around. Single father kid the same age and i have always helped. just today he flipped out because he wanted to see me and i told him dh and i had shopping to do. Instantly he started with the you can't make time for me anymore and so on.
A basically blames me that he fell in love with me. I'm just so done with this. He was such a good guy friend before this i never wanted to lose him. I still can't take the thought of losing his friendship, but i can't continue the affair. I need my family back to normal, my head back to normal.
SO i guess i'm asking how do i do this without him hating me? I told him today i need a mental break i can't take it anymore. He told me go F*** my dh have fun yadda~ I know later he'll text me how sorry he is he just misses me so much..
We always said friends first, but i don't see him sticking to it.

Wow! I feel like I could of wrote this myself. However, in my case I think (no I know) I led him to believe we could have more one day.
He's text me several times last night like i knew he would. I was short and just said I don't know what to say..because i don't. This morning already he's trying his hardest to get me to his house and i'm ignoring it. I know he's mad. He's controlling it now, but i'll hear it later how if i would just give him a few hrs. he wouldn't get so upset. I understand his anger i did lead him to believe there was going to be a forever..i gave him everyday every chance i could. Now i'm backing off and it's like once every 2 weeks.
He's just not getting it and i can't bring myself to just say IT"S OVER LEAVE ME ALONE! It's so cruel, i'm not out to hurt him, but i don't know how to do this easy. I'm not a strong person My heart gets in my way. I do love him, this isn't easy, but reality is i can't lose my family and i'm torn. :(
((hugs)) to you but, the harsh reality of it is..just like the rest of us...you put yourself into this situation..he is not doing ANYTHING to you..and you play a part in it...this is what happens when you start an affair..with a single guy, married guy, guy with a girlfriend whatever......you're just going to have to deal with whereever the chips fall and let them fall where they may...one thing i can say is that you should have been completely honest with him about you not leaving your husband
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
>>life time bf of dh's<<
Hi Augusta -
Unfortunately - I have to totally agree with Jackson here - and even go a step further.