new~welcome any thoughts...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2003
new~welcome any thoughts...
6
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 3:51pm
I have been a faithful lurker for quite some time now, I feel ready to validate this with posting. I am wondering how any of this could have transpired with me right there all along, with that said, here it goes.

I am M with 3 kids~OM single, neighbor, AND friends with H. It all started with some innocent sexual tension, that built up...A month ago H went in the house, left OM and myself in the hot tub~(after an evening of drinks and flirting). Long crazy story short, I walked home with him, and ended up being drunk and stupid, felt guilty. Called him the nnext day, and we decided 'wow, lets not do that again', and chalked it up to experience, and move on. Fine. I still seen him nearly everyday, we were able to put the incedent behind us, and remain friends, and 'friendly'. But every chance we were alone there would be little things said, and done. Like a hug here compliment there, that sorta thing. I couldn't help but feel this big surge of like need for more of him, more of the dreamy feeling. I dont want to read more into any of this just to be shot down. Monday we went to lunch together( he is on vacation this week), Tuesday I called him for something stupid and we talked my whole way home, and yesterday he called me and asked me to take him to pick up his truck~ which I dropped everything and did. It seems like the more I get and give the more I want. What I am wondering is, do y'all think he is being civil, or is there more on his part too?? Like couldn't he have called another friend to take him? Or do I look like a pathetic puppy, and he is seeing right thru me? This is so out of character for me. I have hesitated posting, in some way it feels like by typing this out, I have just made it all too real. Any advice or comments I appriciate~ Have a great weekend!! Angelina

Ohh, and I might add that his son and my boys are very close, as I am to his he is to mine, all one big happy family so to speak~ WHAT IS HE THINKING!?!?!?!?!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 8:50pm
Here's my two cents....

First, if he is a good friend of the H, be cautious.

Has OM been attracted / having feelings for you for a while now and now acting on it, since it appears that the attraction is mutual? Its just a possible idea.

Second, being M and having 3 kids...I myself am M and have 2 kids and I know that maybe its easier to find excitement with an A instead of H. Its true, no matter how anyone else wants to shame that.

If its something you find exciting, keeps you feeling young and vivacious, enjoy it. If you feel guilty and reserved...its not worth beating your conscience up over it.

Just be carefull...dont let your kids and his kids be divided because something between you and he went wrong.

Good Luck

Jeli

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:17pm
Thank you Jeli~ I am so thankful for the outside light you shed. It is on my mind CONSTANT. I feel pulled two ways, I know how I feel, I just wish I had more to go on, concerning his thoughts, ya know? What it all boils down to is utter confusion! Thank you for your wise words, I will take those 2 cents to the bank ;o) Angelina
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 3:09pm
Hey Angelina...

Does it matter what he's thinking? You can't really know that anyway.

More important, what are YOU thinking? Do you want him or don't you? Is it worth the risk? Can you handle it? And what would "it" be?

Once you know what you want, you can figure out how to get it. OM has already shown that he is attracted to you. So what do you want to do about it?

I know these questions are easier to ask than to answer, and I am struggling with some of it myself -- what is HE thinking, especially. But as a friend keeps pointing out to me... what difference does it make what HE's thinking? I have to know what I want, then I can go about getting it! For the record... I don't know what I want yet.

take care,

lily

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 4:48pm
Obviously you're thinking about what you want to do, and how this will affect everyone. So what do you want? Are you in love with your H? Do you want to just have a sexual A with OM with no strings attached, just sex.? Could you handle that? What need would this OM be fulfilling that your H isn't? I know how exciting it is to be sneaking around, and flirting with someone you're sooo attracted to, but to take it any further is a choice you'll have to make, and weigh all the consequences.

What ever you do be careful, talk to OM, you 2 are both probably feeling the same way, one of you just needs to bring the topic up, see what he says...

Let us know

=)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2003
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 12:05pm
That is the question lily, "what am I thinking?". What all started out as a little thought in my head, "wowsa HOTTIE, looks like alot of fun"~ with a little tingle here and there has turned my world upside down (well, sorta). Is it worth the risk? and Can I handle it? Umm, at this point, I really don't know, but will have to go with a 'I would definatly try'. Thank you for throwing these questons at me, I had not given much thought to until now. I would love to have a friend like you have, to throw um at me straight. And for my own record, I have not a clue at the moment what the hell I want~ Seems like Classic ME!! Thank you again! Angelina
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2003
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 12:17pm
Lexylew~ thanks for your reply. After a long weekend and not being with anyone bt my H~ I was able to re-think the whole situation. And your absolutly right with the 'no strings attatched' comment. What I would really find ideal, would be to not have to hide any of it. I want to be given permission I guess?? How crazy does THAT sound. If H could tell me, "yeah sure go have fun, test the waters, and be home by 12". Not very likley~ And to bring anything up with OM, would kind of make me look, umm, needy? I am trying to be careful, watching to see how all the cards will fall, not wanting to mess up a friendship with them, or my own, or any of this ridiculas mess!!! I am so glad to have this board and people like y'all, thank you!!!! Angelina