No Contact for 2 mths
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No Contact for 2 mths
| Sat, 05-15-2004 - 1:32am |
Ladies, i was reading some of the posts and i agree with you guys alot about how could we let ourselves get hurt my the MM's of the world, i ask myself all the time how could i have fallen for a MM but i dont have that answer. On a positive note, i think some of these ladies are really lucky just to get to stay friends with MM after the A and if the A is over then you still at least talk, and for the one's still in the A that you still get to talk and see MM. I read these posts and think gosh i wish i was lucky like some of yall. See my MM doesnt call, email or IM me for anything, he just walked out of my life after saying the very first time he loved me. I wasnt ready to give up MM, i didnt wont my A to end up like this. I pray that i will one day have a email from MM but i wont hold my breathe. It's been 2mths and he still has not contacted me even to say "goodbye and that we are over, i deserve that closure from him after all, we were together for a year and a few mths. Anyways, i dont wont to start rambling but i just wanted to say i would love to be in some of you ladies "shoes". I just am not that lucky, everyday is a battle for me to face that MM is gone and it just gets me more down and depressed. Just be thankful for what you have with MM right now and live in the moment b/c you never know when it may all end. Thanks for my 2 cents and have a nice day.

Everyday is a struggle. I wake up with hope this will be the day of contact. It slowly windles away the later the day gets!I hate it and it is not fair.
thanks for reminding me that I am lucky --- I sometimes take for granted the amount
of respect I receive from my MM - He is a very sensitive person who is afraid to hurt me and then when he does it's usually not intentional - but he usually feels much more pain and suffering for it than I do ---
NC like that must be nerve racking and the days must pass excrutiatingly long !!!
I have been in NC - but usually have a C date in the near future to look forward to.
What is hard is like you said you have no "closure" --- you have nothing but uncertainty about how it is --- is it over ?? is it not ?? and the whole when is he going to talk to me again issue is another thing in itself - you must have a lot of things jumping in your head -
I hope you hear something soon
Kikki
I have lived with him walking away from 'us' for a whole year. no contact - no emails, phone calls or IM's nothing, nada.... I wanted to ask him all kinds of questions at that time and obsessed as to with his real feelings were at that time towards me. I had no one to support me thru it all - nobody. I didn't read these boards at that time. I just kept it all to myself, kept up appearences at home and cried myself to sleep all the time. It was really hard. Words cannot describe how much it hurt. Sometimes I don't know how I made it thru all that...I know now that he was having fun with his friends at time not even giving me a second thought. So its not just you peach, grass just seems greener on the other side, it really is not. Hope you feel better now.
juliet
I am with Kiki and thanking your for reminding me that I am one of the lucky ones. Although I am fairly new to the boards and to my relationship. I feel fortunate that even though I have fallen in love with mm, he goes out of the way to make sure that I don't get hurt. He too goes through hell, just keeping it that way.
I can't imaging nc and not having the closure that you need. But I can imagine the pain of losing someone that is close to you and not understanding. Just be strong, and know that one day it will get easier. :)
NeeNee
I agree, the part that kills is wondering 'is it over?', 'will today be the day he emails?' ,etc. Closure- we all need that. It's this darn state of uncertaintly that again is painful.
I wish I had the answer for you, me and the rest of us here. If I had a magic wand, I would wave it over this entire board and make all the way we want it to be w/o anyone getting hurt.
Dream on...
Take care.
v.
dd
This is going to be hard to hear. I don't even want to type it. I would NOT contact him anymore! Do you really want to be with someone who walked away from his child? Do you want to be with someone who when they get mad, doesn't tell you just goes silent? Most of us have some sort of confrontation or communication problems... but when someone is like that (my H to a certain extent, and my dad to the fullest) it is not only frustrating but downright rude and agrevating. Seems he has done some really immature things and continues to do so at 25. Let him go, don't contact anymore and see if he contacts you. Seems you are infatuated and need to look at your M to see if it is worth saving. You won't be able to with this guy keeping you on a string while you're in turmoil. How old is your son? He can't be too old if your 25. IMHO kids do better with D the YOUNGER they are. They adjust, they don't have all those memories of family trips, and holidays spent as one unit. I'm not saying leave your H, just get rid of the distractions so you can focus on your marriage for a time (you set the amount of time, but give it the attention it should get).
You just sound like you are running around like crazy after this guy and forgetting you have a family of your own. DOn't let him occupy your mind 24/7 he doesn't sound like he deserves it.
JMHO....
dd
sort of went "why is she putting up with this ???"
this is an EMA ...the reasons we are involved in them usually are because we are looking
for the one thing we don't get out of our own M's
I for one would never be with a serious, non-communicative man ---- my M isn't perfect but
it's isn't terrible either but it does not have all of the components that I feel
a "GREAT" marriage could have ----
sure I could do all the things in my power to make my M GREAT --- but do I feel that my H would do the same ??
All I am saying is that if you are in this sort of R where you aren't getting your own needs met and it's an EMA - then get out.....
sure I could even say this about my own M --- we all could --- but for the most part I am having my needs met - I just happened to get lucky enough to find a person who understands me, makes me laugh, feel confident and beautiful and expects nothing in return except for me to treat him as I feel he treats me ----
Get your closure - but try to do it in a discreet, non-stalker sort of way -
If you have to send a letter to his work - but get it there so you know he is the only one reading it and then go on with your life
For you to feel this bad over someone that treats you and obviously many other W then same way isn't right -- irregardless of if he has been hurt - people have too many excuses for doing what they do.
Good Luck
Kikki