Nor will I sit at home alone and cry

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Nor will I sit at home alone and cry
25
Sat, 01-31-2004 - 3:56pm


My MM says he loves me, but he's having a hard time letting go of his marriage. That's fine. I never told him to leave her in the first place.

This week he didn't get online two nights running. Now, that could be because she was hovering over his shoulder. Or that could equally be him trying to fix things back up with her. Who knows?

I had sent him a note which was a bit curt. He responded by apologizing and telling me that we had talked all day and surely I didn't think that he'd fallen out of love with me in two hours?

Humph.

He was careful to tell me his plans for this weekend and that he didn't expect to be able to talk with me before Sunday. I appreciate that.

Sunday is the Super Bowl. I'll be watching it with my Father.

Monday, I have to work, so I won't be online for "our" time.

Now, he told me and my friends that I had to wait until the New Year to see Lord of the Rings because that's when the man I was going to marry would be able to take me.

I waited.

Enough already.

If he wants to see me Wednesday, he's flat out of luck. I have a date to see Lord of the Rings. Nice man. Single, even. ROFL.

I'm not looking to play any games. But my life will not be one where I sit at home and wait for his high holy presence. I won't bring it up unless he asks...but I refuse to sit at home alone and cry. Life is too short!

Thoughts anyone?

Cazrida

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Sun, 02-01-2004 - 10:40pm
Hi Jen,

Okay, you won't be replying to any more post, and yes, here are a couple of more paragraphs for your reading pleasure ;0) but in case you are still reading...how about YOU lighten up. Keep in mind, the first post asked for "thoughts". You seem to be offended at the fact that I am exercising my ability to give Caz my thoughts, as you do, because my thoughts are different from yours. I bascially told her to do what is right for her as also, based on all that she has experienced and how she is feeling. It is only life, you are right, and Caz has admitted to the hurt she feels right now. By the way, that last post was for Lucky, but I welcome your response nonetheless because I am not threatened by what you have to say.

You made references to some of the things in my posts and gave your objectionable opinion, but you don't like it when you feel I have made reference to something you have said and objected to it(even though I didn't quote what you said)...another example of what I mentioned earlier...some folks not liking when someone gives them a dose of their own medicine. By the way, when I wrote that part of people disagreeing with the philosophy of other's, I did not necessarily have you entirely in mind. You know, there are other people who posted here besides yourself, and on this message board in general, who have that sentiment. So relax

By the way Jen, take care and good night.

Pen
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Sun, 02-01-2004 - 10:57pm


I have to confess that I've been unable to follow a lot of this discussion. After reading some of Pens' posts, I felt that she was more interested in judging than in supporting and helping and I placed her on ignore. Therefore, I've missed about half of what has been said.

That said, I hope that she does understand that we are not perfect. None of us wanted to hurt anyone else, and from what I see on this board, most of us are hurting pretty badly fairly frequently. Little things give us a touch of hope, and to most of us that little bit of hope is like a sip of water to a man dying of thirst. It may not be enough to avert death, but the promise is always there to hold on for just another moment.

We take little moments of happiness and treasure them. Whether we do this in an affair or in an approved relationship, I find this an admirable quality. Too often, even in the best of circumstances, we take things for granted. The women on this board do not. There is a value and a respectful appreciation of the little things which I think we all could learn from.

I'd like to thank everyone for their support. I never expected to be here, and I'm only grateful that there is a place where I can come and people do understand.

Love isn't easy, but what a blessing it is to have a heart capable of sharing it.

Cazrida

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 11:37am

hey caz -- i missed all of this over the weekend.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 11:45am

Hi pen,


I don't think I would gotten involved with OM if he was married - its a line that would keep from going further with

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 5:45pm
Hi There CL Gurl!!! Congrats by the way.

Lucky...I never heard back from you regarding my view on your situation. Now, I am curious about your value system.

Love, thanks for talking to me conversing with me. I really appreciate your willingness to share and some of your realistic view on things. I do agree with your view about "ppl who put their lives on hold seems to be the ones affected most by this". I sort of saw that reading Caz's original post. I think some of the people here (not necessarily singling anyone out)are looking for that A to do more than fill some outlet. Then they get horribly disappointed when it turns out to be more emotional sacrifice for them than what they bargained for. Many of the situations I read about just boil down to unrequited "love" IMHO, but people keep deluding themselves, and each other, that it is not. To me support can come in the form of giving observations and suggesting alternatives (esp if the present situation is so painful), but not everyone sees it that way. Also, for the person who feels they have it so bad, support can show them that they don't have it as bad as they think...if they just "truly" imagine themselves in someone elses position in the whole matter, like MM's W/their BF or SO, or even in the shoes of MM, children, etc.

Thanks again ladies. I'll be back tomorrow around this same time.

Pen

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