Not doing so well...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Not doing so well...
6
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 11:27am
hey ya all! I had a really hard weekend - very lonely - even tried to get in contact with MM and was unsuccessful! and yet I feel like he COULD have returned my calls but just choose not to! I know he will argue that once I ask him but I KNOW he was away from the family last night (went out with the guys) and it would have been nice if he'd at LEAST returned my call!

I'm so sad this morning because I feel like I SHOULD walk away and stop putting up with being last place in his life! I hate feeling like I want him SO bad and he can take or leave me! It hurts! :(

But I want to see him and be with him SO bad it's killing me!! :(

Any thoughts, comments, wise advice? LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 11:35am
poster -- sorry you're having a hard time right now. i can't remember, but are you on NC with your MM or just out of touch because of the long weekend?

hopefully it's just the long weekend and now that it's over, you can talk to your MM and/or even see him this week. i hope so for your sake.

hang in there sweetie. and feel better soon.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 11:44am
it was just due to the long weekend but once I tried to contact him and he never found time to get back in contact with me I was REALLY hurt especially today when I coworker told me the guys went out for drinks last night! he could have slipped away for 2 minutes and called me! But no! :(

Sometimes I feel like it's all for HIS convenience this A! And that really doesn't seem fair! :( I mean I am willing to put up with MOST of it but if I am trying to get in contact with him during a time when I NORMALLY wouldn't... I guess I expect him to respect me enough to find a way to return my call! :*( Am I being too hard?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 12:02pm
Dear Poster,

Yup, I've been where you are too. I wish I

had wise advice to give, but my heart never

listened to wise advice anyway. Perhaps yours

is more obedient.

I learned that it really doesn't matter how

much I love or want something to be. It has to

be mutual, or it just won't be. I also came to

appreciate that as well. Love is not something

to be imposed, it is at best returned in measure.

I found my feelings ultimately worked against

me. I would and do play it differently now. It

is a much more free and open game, for me. If

my friend chooses to play, that is great. If not,

I just appreciate them on a different level. I

have found this works better for me.

Do not despair, in time this will pass, with him

or without him. The pace may seem glacial but the

progress is inevitable. Like most things

with your body, if it is hurting, something is

sending a message.

Good luck,

ditr

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 12:08pm
no you're not being demanding. poster, just tell him that you were lonely and wanted to just have a minute or two to talk with him and hear his voice. of course, he had no way of knowing that and might have thought you wanted more time than he could give you. after all, he was "out with the boys." men are selfish and self-centered. all of them... sorry but true!

when you talk to him next, let him know (as calmly as possible) that you would like the courtesy of a return call (or message at least), you just missed him so much you needed to hear his voice.

just talk to him, poster.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 3:28pm
well we haven't really had an opportunity to "talk" yet - but he knows I'm hurt/upset that he didn't return my call! But he isn't showing a whole lot of remorse/sympathy! :( UGH why did I sign up for this again? LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 3:55pm
you didn't sign up for the pain, not intentionally.

all i'm going to say is, in a man's world, it's all about them and a man does not consider "girly" feelings like hurt, upset, remorse, sympathy. in his mind, he hasn't done anything wrong, therefore, he's not going to respond to something he considers "silly".

let go of those hurt feelings and do something for YOU. and give it a few days and communication will be reestablished. then you can tell him not to ignore you again!

hang in there,

gurl