Not feeling guilty

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Not feeling guilty
5
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 8:52am
I have been married for 17 years and in August became involved with a man I have known and been attracted to for quite some time. I keep thinking I should feel guilty about this affair but I am enjoying spending time with him that I have yet to have any guilty feelings. He is divorced with small children and I have no children. Our time together is wonderful and he makes me feel like a queen. Our feelings for each other are strong but he is fully aware of my situation. Should I be feeling guilty?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 9:33am
Hi there,

I'm married (14 years) and seeing a married man (he's been married 25 years) and neither of us feels guilty. We both love our spouses and children (mine are little, his are teens). We work hard to keep our A a secret, and we work hard on our marriages. We both still have lots of good times (and good sex) with our spouses. We are careful not to intrude on each other's family lives, but we need our time together. It rejuvenates us and makes us better people all around. I'm not saying it's not wrong, I'm just saying, monogamy is not necessarily the highest value in marriage. I think it's possible to not feel guilty about an affair if you're still taking good care of the needs of your loved ones.

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 9:39am
Mrs, Everyone handles their love affairs differently and therefore they handle the guilt differently as well. Some are eaten up by guilt while others dont even feel it at all. I have had moments that I felt very guilty, more so at the beginning of my ema, but then other moments when I dont at all. And the longer, my ema goes on, I feel less and less guilt. I do get pangs every now and then but not often anymore. So your question about should you feel guilty? There is no right or wrong answer to that one, everyone is different.

Mama

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 2:38pm
Thank you for your response. At least I know I'm not crazy for not feeling guilty. I have a good relationship with my husband but wouldn't trade my A for anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 2:44pm
Mama,

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate the support. I never thought I would have an ema but it has turned out to be the most wonderful thing in my life.

Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 4:04pm
Hi Dare, Hence, my screen name says it all for me! Good luck and enjoy the ride:) NMR