Not how I thought it would be
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Not how I thought it would be
| Tue, 04-14-2009 - 9:19am |
So it's been a long time since I've come here.
| Tue, 04-14-2009 - 9:19am |
So it's been a long time since I've come here.
Reread your post. What advice would you give if it were written by someone else?
Make a list - pros and cons of this relationship. From reading your post, I think the cons will be two or three times as long as the pros - I actually didn't see any pros there. You are already concentrating on the cons - probably for good reason.
Your cons have some serious things in there too. Heavy drinking/possible alcoholism is a huge one. Don't let him fully into your life based on what he's like when sober, if he's not sober for much of the weekend. He won't change unless it's important to HIM, so think long and hard about dealing with a heavy drinker in your life.
From what I read, you were feeling better and everything was working out well with him out of your life. Don't let him in because you think you owe him anything. If his marriage is over, it's because of his own actions, so he shouldn't make you feel like it's "your fault" so you "owe" him anything. Being left with someone because his wife threw him out is one of the biggest possible dangers of an A! And he'll be the first to act like he "gave up" everything for YOU. See through that and know that he LOST everything, didn't give it up, because of his own actions.
Good luck with what you decide!
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
You've got a lot of choices. I
Well I could have written your post. Save for the baby part, though there was a pregnancy that did not go full term.
The one thing I will tell you, if I had it all to do over again (after living with a married man for two years waiting for the D he NEVER got) I would have never gotten re-involved until the ink was dry. That was my own fault. I take responsibility there.
You said you weren't sure if you wanted this because you were in a better happier place for yourself. I think that speaks volumes and you should listen to your gut.
I know (trust me I do) about mixed feelings and conflicting emotions. Please do for yourself what I neglected to do for me. Put YOU first. Before him, his infant, and his divorce issues. Be true to YOU. Because he is not doing that.