Not if but when?
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| Mon, 04-12-2010 - 11:00am |
I've seen it said around here and elsewhere that being discovered is not a question of "if" but "when" - in other words, if the affair goes on long enough discovery is an inevitable occurrence.
How many of us really believe that?
What would you stand to lose if you were discovered?
I would lose pretty much my whole life. People I love dearly would be devastated. Some of my dependents' whole lives would have to be re-arranged because of ME. I'm not positive that I would ever be forgiven by grown children or even ungrown grandchildren. Not sure I would be able to keep living in this house I love (said as I gaze out a window onto a beautiful spring scene - contemplating going for a walk to look up close and personal at all the blooming, budding sprouting going on)... My biggest fear would be for my H and everything he would go through.
How can I risk so much on NOT being discovered, when everyone pretty much thinks it's a "given"?
It has to be for more than stolen moments of good sex. What motivation is there? I do love my OM, but if his welfare is balanced against the welfare of so many others, why do I choose him?
And why am I seeking therapy and insight from all of you? We're all equally messed up! LOL!!
Let's talk about why we think we're doing this and risking so much.


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After re-reading my posting above, I realized how shallow I must sound!
you got me there.. !!.. yeah, i keep old the emails and pics too.. but in a totally secret online account that i forget the password to sometimes.. and i've set up for the browser to delete everything once it is closed.. and i never leave the browser open if i am not there, even for a minute..
in a way, all the vigilance is the respect i show to my and APs family.. probably the least/only thing we can do and we do our best to do it well..
and yes, the attitude definetely goes a long way in keeping the relationship on solid ground and preventing to create an emotionally-charged
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You're more careful than I am, although I don't keep any pictures, I do leave browsers up (with history deleted).
I guess we're doing all we can do anyway. Sometimes here I read stories of people who almost seem like they want to get caught. They make so many mistakes that it seems inevitable for them.
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