Not missing him. Good or bad?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Not missing him. Good or bad?
4
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:15am
Good morning, everyone. Hope you all had a relaxing weekend.

Here's a question for everyone on the board. I was thinking last night (not always a good thing!), and it dawned on me, while I would have enjoyed seeing my MM last week, I didn't miss him. He is trying to finish up a project for work that was due out by Saturday. For some odd reason, not seeing him was ok. We chatted on line briefly a couple of times during the week, and he sent me an email just about everyday. But it dawned on my last night, that I didn't feel like my week was ruined because I didn't see him. He mentioned Friday about meeting for lunch today, but I told him that I had tentive plans to have lunch with a girlfriend, maybe Tuesday or Wednesday. He said which ever day works best for me, works for him.

Now it's not as though I haven't been thinking of him. He came to the forefront of my mind Saturday morning, then I pushed it aside to focus on my family.

Does this sound "normal"? I feel that I am fairly smitten by him, but shouldn't I be thinking about him all the time or something? Or at least willing to rearrange my schedule to see him when he is free?

Just random rambling, and curious to know if anyone feels like I do.

Thanks!

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 12:33pm
sweet

Actually I think it is very healthy. You can't be so focused on him that you neglect your other responsibilities... You have to look at an EMA as a nice relationship on the side, not the primary one. So yeah I would not only say it is healthy but it is GOOD>

:)

dd

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:23pm
I agree with sweet that it is healthy. My MM and I go a while without seeing each other and there are times when I am just fine with that. I know we will see each other again when we can. Then of course there are times that I think I will scream if I don't see him. I think part of being able to keep it together in an EMA is to be ok with yourseld when MM isn't around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 10:33pm

Hi sweet summer,


I think you are just becoming more comfortable and accepting of your relationship and therefore accepting that there will be times that you can't be together.


I have not seen my MM for well over a month to six weeks or even more... it's been so long! and most of his emails these days are rather quick and to the point.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:47pm
My thanks to all that replied.

Sweetc69 I know you have been with your man a long time, and your words are a comfort to me. I read on an EMA message board "Carry on with your life, don't feel like a forgotten toy put on the shelf while they are at school. Let him live his life, and you go about living yours." Very true.

I think the hardest thing to keep my head wrapped around, especially in the first month, is we each have very separate lives and we can never put the other one first. It isn't like anyother relationship we have known, is it?

Thanks again.