Not my fault - the mantra
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| Thu, 09-03-2009 - 3:50pm |
I read the betrayed spouses forum a lot and the advice always given to the betrayed spouse begins with - "It's not your fault". I want to be sensitive to the unspeakable pain they are feeling so I am posting up here.
Is it constructive to think that you can never at least be partially at fault? Infidelity is not murder, or even a felony last I checked. If someone is unhappy with their spouse and communicates their unmet needs to their spouse in vain and for one of many reasons doesn't want a divorce is it impossible to imagine that the betrayed spouse is an innocent victim? I mean totally blameless.
Let's just say if my wife had an affair I wouldn't look in the mirror and say I was without any blame for driving her to that. For people to say "I know our marriage had it's problems, but I am blameless for his or her actions" sounds like you are just sticking your head in the sand. Any thoughts?

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Unless someone explicitly says to their spouse that they are unhappy about something to the point of needing to go outside of their marriage in order to get their need(s) met, that someone is wrong in doing so.
Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love. ~Anonymous
&nb
"We all have our needs.
Mom,
Hi.
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He felt they were either unreasonable or undoable.
my guess would be that the a was what cemented her decision
i think most women, once they have decided on an a, to be
physical with someone else, they have already reached the
point of no return in a r or m.
men seem to be wired differently in that respect and will become
involved in an a but will refuse to leave, for the most part,
and never had the intention of leaving when they started an a.
they get their house cleaned, dinner cooked, errands ran, etc.
so they just pick up an ap for
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