Not sure how to handle this...
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Not sure how to handle this...
| Sun, 01-04-2009 - 5:21pm |
My older dd and I went shopping today, and decided to get some lunch while we were out. So, we are eating our sandwiches and she said to me "has D called you at all today?" I told her nope, it was too cold this morning, and now football is on, but I'm ok with that, he doesn't need to call me all the time. Then she said "wow, what a boyfriend, first it's too cold, now football, you know he is your boyfriend, right?" So, I asked her why she said that, and she said "because the two of you are so lovey dovey, you are so far up the significant other mountain it's sickening" and I asked her if it was sickening for her or me, or what, and she said she needed an ambulance.
When we all go out, MM and I do sit next to each other, we try

I can't give you any words of advice. I personally don't think I would want my boys to know that I was having an A no matter what the circumstances. I have a hard enough time admitting it to myself.
What I will tell you is about one of my best friends. Her father was an alcoholic and would beat her and her mother. Her mother divorced him when my friend was in sixth grade. Her mother then proceeded to have an affair with her married boss that lasted years. He never left his wife, I believe that he is still married to her. My friend figured out in her teens that her mom and "murray" were more than friends/ coworkers and she accepted it and thought it was good that her mother was happy. She got married at the age of 24 and now we are in our forties and she is having an A with one of her best friend's husbands. Does she feel guilty? No..this is normal for her and subconsciously she thinks its okay, after all her mother was seeing a married man for close to twenty years.
I am not judging you, I"m having an A myself. I just think as far as your daughters are concerned you should stress to them that this may not be the kind of relationship that they want to choose for themselves because it definitely has a down side and isn't the easiest way to live. They should grow up and want better for themselves. I don't think you are being a hippocrite at all, you are being honest and you are being human. Your daughters are better off for it because they are learning at a young age that the world isn't black and white...that good people wind up in situations that aren't always the greatest....but instill in them as the years go by that a marriage CAN be wonderful and monogamous..and they should want that for themselves.
I hope I helped somewhat.
Hi Mom -
Hmm - yeah that's a tricky one.
ya gotta give the girls more credit than you do..they already know you are seeing him...my son is 16 about to be 17...and last christmas 2007, ..he started to put two and two together and he started to see AP drop me off or he'd peek through the window and catch a glimpse of him...besides he always wondered while he has a home here..why on the weekends sometimes he would have to go stay with auntie to so-called hang out with her boys...get me...well one day he decided he was gonna come back and say "oh i forgot something" and caught me with AP...he didn't know AP but he wanted to know who was in my life...after that AP and I thought well he lives here..and we can't hide from him forever...he's gotta be incorporated he knows now..AP felt like he very well couldn't give me the treats and good things in life that he feels i deserve without giving them to him as well...his feeling is that my DS is a part of me and AP wanted to be a part of me, in turn he wanted DS to be a part of it...
i say that to say..they have a way of figuring stuff out....i tried to say AP and I were just
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
Well, I'm ashamed to say that my 16-year old daughter knows that my AP is MM, I'm OW.